Idris Elba Is The Sexiest Man Alive & It's About Damn Time
Listen. Those of us who are self-professed connoisseurs of fine have been checkin' for Idris Elba for a super-hot minute now.
Whether he was melting our hearts as a single father in Daddy's Little Girls, lookin' good as a hot fudge sundae (heavy on the chocolate) in his wardrobe in Obsessed, starring as the semi-complex detective on Luther, or we've simply gotten to witness his ooo-baby British accent whenever he's being interviewed—this 46-year-old's (yep, he's good and grown) Godiva skin, unapologetic salt 'n pepper beard and love for the DJ culture (did you know he can also play hockey and rugby too?!) makes him, at the very least, fantasy-worthy. In virtually every room of the house.
That man. Ooo-whee! THAT. MAN.
Hmph. We're glad that FI-N-ALLY, PEOPLE magazine got the memo (i.e., the constant side-eye emails and tweets that were along the lines of "What are you waiting for—eh hem—people?!") because although he's been an honorable mention in their Sexiest Man Alive issue more than once, this year, he officially earned the coveted cover.
Who'd have thought it! Thank you @people & all the fans for naming me #SexiestManAlive. Don't forget to grab your i… https://t.co/87L7wf7k2T— Idris Elba (@Idris Elba) 1541480593.0
When we hopped onto PEOPLE's site to see why they selected this award-winning actor for such a time as this, we really dug that they said every year, they look for someone who is respectful of women. They also shared that they wanted an individual who has a kindness and generosity of spirit.
We also learned his response to hearing the news of being PEOPLE's 33rd Sexiest Man Alive:
"I was like, 'Come on, no way. Really?' Looked in the mirror, I checked myself out. I was like, 'Yeah, you are kind of sexy today.' But to be honest, it was just a nice feeling. It was a nice surprise — an ego boost for sure."
Something else that caught our attention is Idris himself saying that out of all of his accomplishments thus far, being present for the birth of his children (his daughter Isan is 16; his son Winston is 4) easily tops them all. Oh, and it certainly didn't hurt that he also went on record as saying that he has a bit of a "naughty" and "what if?" side to him.
Idris Elba is People’s 2018 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ 1. This is the type of news I needed to hear 2. I completely agree… https://t.co/4AIn1Jq2gZ— b (@b) 1541485482.0
***Church fan, anyone?***
Sure, we know that he's spoken for (le sigh). But honestly, that makes him even sexier. It sends the message that he's not a commitment-phobe. Plus, his fiancee is a sistah (29-year-old model Sabrina Dhowre), and we don't know what's more beautiful than Black Love.
In fact, the only thing that makes all of this news better is the timing. Oh, the timing. Although the announcement was technically made last night on Jimmy Fallon's The Tonight Show, those of us who try and get eight hours of shut eye woke up to news. And what day is today, y'all? ELECTION DAY.
We must give credit to where credit's due and again, the timing is impeccable. Well played, PEOPLE magazine. Well freakin' played. And Idris, many, many, MANY congrats! You already know that we've been givin' you your props for-e-ver but it's always cool when our personal taste goes, umm, mainstream (wink).
Check out some of our favorite reactions to the news below. For more of PEOPLE on Idris, click here. And be sure to pick up your copy available on newstands this Friday.
People: Idris Elba is the #SexiestManAlive
— Hanii (@HaniLee1) November 6, 2018
Me: pic.twitter.com/ij4rsKc41j
Idris Elba rightfully winning sexiest man alive after Blake Shelton stole it last time gives me a lot of hope for this Election Day— The Volatile Mermaid (@The Volatile Mermaid) 1541507863.0
I don't usually approve of "People's" Sexiest Man Alive choices, but Idris Elba definitely gets my vote! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 https://t.co/cAedsYZQkQ— journey to the past©️™️ (@journey to the past©️™️) 1541485310.0
And, in being named #SexiestManAlive, Idris Elba used his new platform to encourage everyone to get out and #vote.… https://t.co/N46cfBzIbz— WriterIowa 🇺🇲 (@WriterIowa 🇺🇲) 1541483262.0
Idris Elba was named #SexiestManAlive and now all I can think of is this gif https://t.co/W2FSGd6yBI— eddie’s second mom (@eddie’s second mom) 1541483571.0
Congratulations!!! #Idris you deserve the recognition and accolade. At least it has to be somebody and it isn't me… https://t.co/TWzGgSrbAO— ceejay (@ceejay) 1541514766.0
BRB mass-producing pillowcases with this photo of @people's #SexiestManAlive @idriselba printed on them so we can a… https://t.co/ksG6HiDZkQ— Dave Quinn (@Dave Quinn) 1541481206.0
People Magazine: “our 2018 #SexiestManAlive is Idris Elba” Internet: https://t.co/RdsCEY8RBe— Fancy C. Poitras (@Fancy C. Poitras) 1541485797.0
In the words of Dr. Miranda Bailey, "It's Idris Elba" 😍 #SexiestManAlive #GreysAnatomy https://t.co/Vv8eNTCHYC— Shondaland Digital (@Shondaland Digital) 1541482021.0
😂🤣😂🤣 Tweet of the Day #sexiestmanalive https://t.co/gpmPGWdIPt— 🎶🎶🎶 (@🎶🎶🎶) 1541470198.0
Featured image by Denis Makarenko / Shutterstock.com
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images