I Chose Abstinence When I No Longer Felt Fulfilled By Casual Sex

Sex

When anyone asks me to describe the dating scene today the first thought that comes to mind is Drake's "Doing it Wrong" lyrics, "We live in a generation of, not being in love, and not being together."


Even previously while in relationships, something always felt temporary and inorganic and there was never much certainty of a title or status. I couldn't recall the last time I was involved with someone and felt total fulfillment from anything in the situation other than sex. Many situationships these days begin and end in sex, and maybe a little false hope of commitment in between.

Related: 5 Love Lessons I've Learned from Being in a Situationship

Those were the men I referred to as my "something to do" boo because the peak of the productivity between us occurred only during a spontaneous Netflix and Chill night, thereby designating them as something to do when there's nothing to do. Of course, there was the usual night out to eat here and there, and maybe a movie, but never anything that knocked me off my feet and gave me an experience that was remarkably unique. I think sex played a heavy role in the lack of effort. Was this what I preferred? Absolutely not.

By nature, humans desire love and companionship, no matter how much they try to deny it. I'd take a romantic walk in the park with my partner any day over a random night of sexcapades.

It was one Sunday morning that I woke up and realized there was some truth to a tweet I recently came across which read, "Women can eliminate weak men in a single generation by simply refusing to sleep with them."


After some heavy reflection and contemplation, I decided that it's best to hold back on sex until I'm in a fulfilling committed relationship. Normally, women choose to practice abstinence until they're married, but I knew my limitations and wanted to set a realistic goal for myself. I believe that for any woman seeking to settle down and be in a committed relationship with someone, they might also want to consider eliminating sex until then.

Here are the ways you can approach and practice abstinence while dating:

Always keep in mind and prioritize your long-term goal.

freeform.azureedge.net

When you reach a point where you're past the fun exploration stage of dating and your expectations have heightened, make sure your ultimate goal is at the forefront of every decision you make. You should choose who and how you date based on what's the best fit for your choice to omit sex until commitment.

Pay attention to the initial signs, there are going to be key characteristics of someone who's truly interested or just looking to "hit it."

Sign up today and be the first to get notified on new updates, exclusive events, retreats and giveaways!

More Posts

When someone hurts you and you refuse to forgive them, it's like drinking poison and expecting them to die. Instead, by drinking this serum, you have subjected yourself to a slow, painful, agonizing suffering that only you can heal. My grandmother used to say you can't "make" anyone do anything, and over the course of my life I've grown to see that as truth. What I mean by that is, no one can make you mad or sad, you did that to your damn self. The wound always comes before the band-aid.

Keep reading... Show less

In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.

Keep reading... Show less
Keep reading... Show less

Celebrity hairstylist Cliff Vmir is a bonafide badass working with some of the top talents in entertainment, including Cardi B, who months ago crafted Cardi's icy blue hair color that lit social media ablaze. Recently, the millionaire hairstylist gave his 700K+ followers an up close and personal look into his life by starring in his own BET web series Wig Out. At only 21 years old, Cliff holds the reins as a premier stylist and has gained a loyal following on social media as well as from his classes where aspiring hairstylists learn valuable techniques and expert advice for mastering the latest looks.

Keep reading... Show less

My thighs and I used to need couple's therapy.

Keep reading... Show less

The beauty of life is that anything can happen at any moment, and you can count on the journey to help you gain perspective and strength to deal with it. When I was 21 years old, I was officially diagnosed with generalized epilepsy. Epilepsy is a neurological disorder that causes abnormal activity in the brain, seizures, and loss of consciousness.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts