What They Don’t Tell You About Self-Publishing A Book
On April 4, 2018, I announced to the world that I wrote a book, sunny., and it was available for pre-order.
sunny. is a collection of poetry and prose about the ins and outs, ups and downs, and twists and turns of life and love. Rooted in the notion that "everything is a peace of a poem, if you're paying attention," sunny. explores how to learn to love yourself, what happens to the love when a relationship ends, and how love finds us in even the seemingly minute details of life alone or with someone else. The book was born out of a need to process a relationship I couldn't make sense of and a challenge from a sorority sister.
I, like most writers, dream of having a literary agent and getting a book deal, but that isn't my current reality. Still, I knew sunny. was a book that warranted being in the world, so I decided I would self-publish it and learned a lot along the way.
If you're considering self-publishing your book, here are 6 things to keep in mind:
Do Your Best to Nip Impostor Syndrome in the Bud
You might be wondering if anyone is going to care about your book beyond your Mom, Dad, and maybe a few friends. You can't afford to think that way. People will care about your book if you care about it. People will care about your book if you make them care about it. When you self-publish, you're one person show so confidence about your work is a necessity or else you won't be able to promote it well or pursue opportunities you know you and your book deserve.
Think About Marketing
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As I already said, when you self-publish a book you are a one person show unless you've got it like that to hire others to do your marketing for you or help you with it. But if that's not your situation, then as you're working on your manuscript, you should also be working on your marketing plan. How will you publicize your book? How are you creating and sustaining buzz? How will your book live and sell beyond its initial launch high? What marketing assets do you need?
And your plan needs to be deeper than, "Hey, I wrote a book and I think it's great so you should buy it." What reason does someone have to buy your book if they come across it in a store or see it mentioned on social media? What value is it adding? What story are you telling and how are you constantly reaching and engaging with your demographic through your marketing channels? Will you run social media ads or create a sales funnel?
Consider these things while you're writing and the process after publication will be much easier. Tools like Canva are great for designing branded assets for Twitter, Instagram, and your website if you can't afford to hire a designer. Services like Buffer allow you to pre-schedule social media content and also send it out for you, enabling you to pursue that next project without wondering if you've mentioned your last offering yet. If you want to run ads or create a sales funnel, do your research and hire out for those services or invest in courses about how to do it right on your own.
Remember, if you write it, some will come, but if you want your book to have a long life, you'll need to market it and tell people why it's worth reading.
Pick Your Publishing Platform Well
I published sunny. through, what was at the time, Createspace, one of Amazon's self-publishing platforms. It has since merged with the Kindle platform and become KDP or Kindle Direct Publishing. As I was researching self-publishing platforms, I also came across other popular offerings like Blurb and Lulu.com. There's also Tablo which I was just introduced to and boasts that it will get your book into 40,000 bookstores from Amazon to Barnes & Noble, as well as physical retailers all over the world.
Each platform is going to come with different costs, offerings, and royalties. You want to keep those three areas in mind as you pick the platform that's right for you. Think about what your goals for your book are and which platform will get you closest to achieving them.
You'll also need to think about if you're going to have a physical book, e-book or both and which platform will best enable you to distribute them. Know that you'll have to go through separate processes to get on iBooks and Nook, so be prepared for that extra step no matter what platform you choose.
Do Your Research
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When I had written enough of sunny. to realize that it could actually be a book, I went to a bookstore to study what other books in my genre looked and felt like. I took notes on everything - font, font size, how the books were structured, how many pages they had on average, the cover art, the cover material (front and back), what was on the spine, the color of the pages, where the title and author name were located, how the table of contents was laid out if it had one, how poems were structured on the pages, and most of all, how each book made me feel. I wanted to make sure that sunny. would make sense, look right, and stand out if someone dropped it in a stack of poetry books by prominent poets of yesterday and today.
Once you have a general sense of what books in your genre are like, research and think about how you can make your book stand out. Sunny. has a simple cover. It's just the title, my name, a saxophone, and a bright yellow background. I haven't seen many poetry books with a saxophone on the cover or with bright yellow backgrounds and I knew these design choices would make sunny. stand out while also communicating that there's a story behind the sax and the book is about finding the sun. It makes you feel warm inside and intrigued; both being characteristics I believe have helped it sell well.
Be Mindful of Your Costs
Unlike getting started on other creative endeavors, self-publishing does have a price tag associated with it. You will need to pay for your ISBN, which is like your book's identification number. You'll also want to copyright your work with the U.S. Copyright office for an extra layer of protection. And if you're hiring out for design work or marketing help, those services will cost you as well.
Make sure you have a budget for the process and do your best to stay under it. You can't get out of buying an ISBN and while you can skip the copyright, it's really not the best idea. I recommend buying your ISBN from whoever you self-publish with as it will just be easier and they may even include it in the price of using their platform. Your copyright will cost anywhere from $35-$85 and again, is a step that should not be overlooked.
Think About Opportunities for Expansion Early
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You don't need to have a podcast, event series, and merchandise ready to go as soon as your book is released into the world. In my personal opinion, it's smart to see how people respond to the book before jumping on to various spin-offs, but if folks are responding well, think about ways you can build on the initial interest and purchases to really create a brand out of your work. Can you host workshops, parties or other events? Is there a podcast in there to extend the story? Are people asking you for merchandise? Thinking about the larger picture of the brand that can grow as a result of your book while you're in the process of publishing will make you better prepared for later down the line.
Ultimately, bringing a book into the world is no small feat and thanks to technology, getting a traditional book deal is no longer the only way to become or be successful as an author. Hopefully these tips and tricks help you in your process of self-publishing and congratulations! You're going to be an author!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Gabrielle Hickmon is a writer and author. Founder of The Reign XY, a lifestyle site for millennial women, co-host of EightyTwo NinetySix Podcast and author of sunny. a collection of poetry and prose about the ins and outs, ups and downs, and twists and turns of life and love, Gabrielle is interested in creating work that reflects and interrogates her experiences in today's culture. You can keep up with her via Twitter, Instagram and her website.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise y’all or not to know that a few years back, Vice published an article entitled, “Women Get Bored in Bed Faster Than Men.” When it comes to the clients I work with, what I will say is men tend to underestimate how creative women can be while women seem to overlook that men fake orgasms just about as much as they do. My grand takeaway from all of this? Folks need to be intentional when it comes to keeping the spice alive in their sex life; especially if they’re in a long-term relationship.
That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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