Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with a male friend and he asked why it was such a big deal for women to get closure once a relationship comes to an end. If you ask me, that question goes both ways — why does it seem like so many men want to avoid giving a woman closure once a relationship comes to an end?!
There are typically two reasons why a lot of us want closure in a relationship. One isn't the healthiest while the other is.
The first reason is that some people think that if they talk about their relationship to death, they can somehow convince the person to stay. All of us are too valuable to have to convince anyone to see us and want to be with us. So yeah, this reason is unhealthy.
The second reason, I'm all for, though. It's about respecting the person and the time spent in the relationship enough to provide closure.
Closure brings clarity and clarity helps us to heal and move on — and forward.
So, what should you do if a man doesn't respect you enough to give you the clarity that you need so that you can heal and move on/forward? Good question.
Say What YOU Need to Say.
Getty Images
One of my favorite songs by John Mayer is "Say What You Need to Say". And you know what? Even if a guy won't meet up with you for coffee or talk to you on the phone, there is way too much technology out here to not be able to get what you need to off of your chest.
If you've been asking your ex for a closure convo and he's gone radio silent on you, write a letter, send an email, leave a voicemail. I don't care who he is, curiosity alone will make him listen.
80 percent of diseases are stress-related. Don't let your pride or fear prevent you from getting what you need to off of your chest. And trust me, guys are as curious as we are. He's gonna read or listen to what you have to say, whether he responds or not.
Featured image by Getty Images.
- What do you do when your ex won't give you closure? - Quora ›
- Ask a Guy: "When Guys Disappear, Is It Worth Contacting Them for ... ›
- Need closure with an ex? You can do it without exchanging a single ... ›
- 5 Reasons You'll Never Get Closure with Your Ex | HuffPost Life ›
- How to Move Forward When You Don't Have Closure – Personal ... ›
- Why Cowards Can't Give You Closure | Thought Catalog ›
- Why We Need Closure From Broken Relationships | Psychology ... ›
- How Do You Get Closure If He Won't Even Talk to You - YouTube ›
- How to Get Closure When Your Ex Won't Speak to You ›
RELATED
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
