"Netflix And Chill" Isn't The Key To Commitment
She was a student at Ohio State University, strong into her third year of college when we met. Her skin brown, mind focused and the body was banging. She 22 years young and me three years her senior found attraction and sexual healing to be ever present. Alone time, phone time, and at any time for that matter produced feelings of intimate emotions.
My identity was that of a womanize/woman pleaser. We made a promise to not insert or pervert anything into our relationship before jumping the broom. Grandma always said:
[Tweet ""It's hard to come together when her legs are always spread.""]
Thank you Grandma for the vivid imagery. I took this to heart as a man and understood the role I played in making our relationship work. The bedroom has always sent men away mentally when we dry hump or hump a woman prematurely.
I have laid on many beds, futons, back seats, floors and countertops in my young life. Countless moments of experiencing sex with a woman not yet my wife produced poor results. Not for me as a man necessarily, but for “her.” She is the casual sex on a Saturday night after Netflix and chill. She is the long-time friend now estranged friend you couldn’t help but feel up. Men don't feel the pain women feel when we exit you physically and emotionally.
[Tweet "Countless moments of experiencing sex with a woman not yet my wife produced poor results. "]
This is why I can appreciate the effort Russell Wilson took with Ciara. We as men need a challenge at all times. Chasing you sexually is one challenge, but taming the beast in our groin is a far greater challenge for many. With Charlie Sheen announcing his HIV positive status, isn’t it best to avoid those moments of sadness? Sure it is! So here are three ways to avoid the early on set of lustfulsexualfluenza.
1. Netflix and Chill must turn into Matinee and Milkshakes.
You can no longer stay past the 7 pm hour with your lust burning you up. If you believe this relationship is indeed different then do something different. Yes, you are an adult but you will look like an old child at 40 years, single, and searching the bar at Happy Hour for a quality connection.
2. Form a pact
We both made a commitment which gave both of us a sense of guilt if we failed. If one party feels the victory lies in laying down with you for a rendezvous it will be tough to fend them off long term. Get on the same page for the purpose of the relationship because it’s the only reason we made it through.
3. Fight the Lust Line.
Can’t you imagine the feeling of their body on top of yours? Does the images of orgasmic wild sex with them just send you overboard? I bet they do indeed! There is no manual on how to turn these thoughts off. You have to know some nights will be your weak night and vice versa. Remind each other of the commitment you made. Even when you slip up once or thrice, get back on the wagon. Your relationship will thank you for it long term.
Waiting to have sex with my wife was my commitment to her long term. I know as a man that we can be master manipulators long after being masturbators in our adolescents. Learned habits take root in our formative years on how women tick. Your vulnerability, sensuality and desire to be loved fall in line with our playbook. I will tell the unborn daughter I may raise that “Sex is your right to have, but 9/10 it hurts your chances of building the strongest bond with Him.”
You may be reading this thinking “Why is this man telling me not to have sex before marriage?” It is merely for you to be the empowered and respected woman you desire to be. Sex with you is worth so much to us men. We spend money, think of dates, protect you, stare, send good morning text and blush emoji’s. Not just for the draws, but yes for the draws. We eventually fall in love with you. If done correctly our desire for you will force us to pursue you all the way to the wedding day.
My son is easily bribed at two years old. His love for fruit snacks of any kind and shape makes him vulnerable. When I offer him the thing he loves the most I create a magnet for my desires to be fulfilled.
Your heart desires that commitment I gave to my wife seven years ago. We fulfilled that commitment but not without our share of hiccups. Our hands landed in places our loins couldn’t. Even in those moments, due to our commitment to avoiding sex, we felt a guilt and conviction. Promise yourself this time will be different.
Promise your body that who enters the home of your heart next won’t just visit, but move in forever.
I’ve been married for five years now, but can’t even recall the names or amount of women I misused selfishly. Live through me and know sex is the King of the chess board.
You are the Queen, so you have all the moves and power necessary to protect it.
Chris Marvel is a Relationship Coach/Expert and author of upcoming book “Love Laws- Rules of Love and Relationships in the 21st Century.” He is known for offering commentary and insights on professional athletics, leadership, human development, and spiritual growth. He a columnist for the Call and Post Newspaper and a recent "Emerging Leaders" honoree in Who's Who in Black Cleveland. He has shared the stage with Iyanla Vanzant and Wendy Williams at the Empower One Conference in 2015 as well. Learn more about Chris at ChrisMarvel.Life.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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The ItGirl Directory Is Here: 50+ Black Woman-Owned Agencies, Companies, Directors & More
The ItGirl Directory is like the ultimate group chat for women to connect with a fierce selection of women-led ItGirl agencies and businesses. This is your digital link-up for collaboration, empowerment, and nurturing your personal and creative ventures. Connecting with like-minded women who get you is essential, and the ItGirl Directory makes it possible.
We’re committed to supporting the girlies by providing access to resources and opportunities that amplify personal and creative endeavors.
Get connected with ItGirl-certified and Black women-owned companies, agencies, and freelancers, across marketing, creative production, branding, and more.
Featured Categories: Marketing & Branding | Talent & Creator | Photo & Video
MARKETING & BRANDING
Meet the dot connectors across marketing, branding, strategy, campaigns, experiential, and more. These women pull off large-scale campaigns, brand partnerships, strategic marketing, consulting, press and communication strategy, and much more.
19th & Park
Founded by Tahira White and Whitney Headen, 19th & Park is an agency rooted in strategy, innovation, ideation, and execution — allowing them to create stories that make people feel again and build with brands including Bumble, L'Oreal, and Meta.
SLUG Global
SLUG is a team of young artists from diverse professional backgrounds and disciplines founded by creative director and musical artist Brittany Bosco. The agency specializes in graphic design, web design, digital marketing, original content curation for web and social media, creative direction, immersive set design, and event production across the intersectional spaces of music and culture—leading them to work with brands such as Spotify, Facebook, and many more.
Crown and Conquer
Based in Los Angeles, April McDaniel's Crown + Conquer is an independent agency redefining success for brands based on authenticity. By fostering meaningful cultural interactions, the agency has curated campaigns for Adidas, Amazon Studios, Google, and others.
RTTR
Rachel Wims, a marketing executive, author, and global philanthropist, serves as the founder and CEO of RTTR. Her agency specializes in content production, talent management, and artist creative/brand development. Among Rachel's clientele are notable names such as Jayda Cheaves, Dess Dior, and the beauty brand Topicals.
D28
Specializing in fashion, entertainment, lifestyle, hospitality, and tourism— Shenell Renwick is a Brooklyn-based publicist, storyteller, and co-founder of d28. D28 is a PR and digital marketing agency working with emerging brands and talent including True To Us and Sondér New York.
All Angles Agency
(web | Instagram)
Founded by Evangeline Elder, All Angles Agency is a brand partnerships and integrated marketing engine, powering multicultural platforms in music and entertainment with strategy & consulting across brand deals. AAA connects the dots between the hottest cultural entities and brands looking to create authentic touchpoints with diverse audiences. AAA has worked with artists such as Jean Deaux, Free Nationals, Ambre, as well as cultural platforms Femme It Forward, Hoorae/Raedio, Roc Nation, and more.
OneDayCMO
Emmelie De La Cruz is the founder, marketing consultant, and AI enthusiast of OneDayCMO. Curated through the love for growing small businesses and startups, her omnichannel strategy service allows companies to confidently delegate their marketing thanks to Emmelie and her in-house team of vetted experts.
Third & Hayden
Third & Hayden, founded by Kei Henderson, is a Creative Incubation Hub functioning as a record label, management, and publishing company. We support artists and creators in establishing enduring careers by providing startup artists with foundational capital, strategic guidance, operational support, and essential resources for success. Recently the agency inked a joint venture label deal with SoundCloud.
Creative Collective NYC (CCNYC)
Imani Ellis is the Founder and CEO of The Creative Collective—the largest community of diverse creative professionals in the country. Additionally, Imani is also the creator of CultureCon—an annual IRL event extension of The Creative Collective that prioritizes visibility and opportunity for Black and Brown creatives. With ongoing partnerships with Max, Cash App, and others, Imani continues her mission of building community and fostering cultural collaboration.
Worque + Off Worque
Cristina Jerome, the founder of Worque, operates as a freelance marketer and creative, excelling in talent collaboration, social media, and brand marketing. Initially known for her achievements in the music industry, she spearheaded digital strategy for R&B acts at Keep Cool (RCA Records). Expanding into TV, she contributed to projects like Red Table Talk, Bel-Air, and Rap Sh!t. Subsequently, roles at Topicals and Adidas tapped Cristina to direct social content and lead global brand marketing campaigns. These diverse experiences culminated in the creation of Worque, a community and content marketing agency where Cristina's work, worth, and wins speak for themselves.
SydTheCreative
Sydney Price, also known as SydTheCreative, is a Spelman graduate, creative strategist, content creator, and storyteller. She specializes in helping entertainment and lifestyle brands develop bold creative and meaningful content and strategy. Sydney has collaborated with clients such as Twitter and Adobe.
Sunset Works
Based in LA, Deena Morrison is the founder and producer of Sunset Works Entertainment, a full-service agency specializing in content production and artist development. With over 8 years of experience and a dynamic team, Deena has served clients such as Spotify, ESPN, Nike, Blavity, META, and more.
The Elle Empire
Founded by Elle Houston, the Elle Empire creates dope events for cool brands and cooler people. This agency has been responsible for partnering with Apple Music, Savage X Fenty, and many more.
PopNCreative
After being tired of not seeing women launch and lead in the advertising and marketing industries, founders Lori Hall and Jessica Lane started the Pop’N Creative agency during the pandemic. This agency operates with a mission to see brands win in marketing within a multicultural world— working with brands such as H&M, Hulu, Netflix, Discovery, and many more.
League Twenty Two
Founded by Ashley Henderson, League Twenty Two is a diverse team of forward-thinking millennials bringing unique and bold perspectives to an experiential strategy with over a decade of experience. They infuse cultural authenticity and relevance with expertise to make moments memorable and redefine what’s possible. They specialize in experiential production and fabrication, content curation, and creative strategy rooted in culture. They’ve worked with Clinique, Nike, PrettyLittleThing, SiriusXM and more.
Jessica Roner
An LA native now based in New York, Jessica Roner is a consultant who thrives through illustration, brand storytelling, and creative strategy. With a background in ideating and executing pitches for both global and local campaigns, she excels in repositioning and establishing value within brands. Her diverse portfolio includes collaborations with solo entrepreneurs and larger corporations such as Louis Vuitton and Atlanta Apparel Mart.
Marz Enterprise
Founded by Jasmine C. Green, MARZ Enterprise is committed to revolutionizing the modeling industry through a strong emphasis on diversity and authentic representation. We specialize in tailored creative talent solutions for ad agencies, production companies, casting directors, and beyond.
24:Ours
Founded by Goldie Harris in 2016, 24:OURS is a creative label based in NYC that bridges the gap between music, media, and marketing. Specializing in event and content production, they curate experiences for diverse audiences and true music enthusiasts. Additionally, the 24:OURS Creative Studios serves as a co-working space and full-service rental photography/video studio, offering tailored meeting and event spaces for the musical and creative community.
A Same Different Story
Since 2020, Reegan Houston has orchestrated major global cultural events through her agency, A Same Different Story. Specializing in brand strategy, creative direction, and executive production, she has collaborated with luxury brands and institutions. As a freelance executive producer and creative director, Reegan has partnered with Kendrick Lamar, Migos, Drake, Shawn Carter, The Recording Academy, GQ, LaQuan Smith, Google, Netflix, and others.
Refine Collective and IBandfriends
Founded by IB Majekodunmi, Refine Collective is a digital community promoting and supporting minority-owned businesses and freelancers. Our mission is to empower the underrepresented by directing purchasing power their way. Additionally, our sister company, IB&FRIENDS, specializes in event production and creative consulting.
Ghetto Yolie
Yolanda Hoskey is a Brooklyn native and multi-disciplinary artist based between New York and Los Angeles. Her work challenges the monolithic perception of Blackness — leading to opportunities for partnership with prominent institutions and brands including The New York Times, Bloomberg, FUJIFILM, SNIPES USA, Walmart, and Aperture Magazine.
Imperial Marketing Group (IMG)
Founded by Anastasia Wright, IMG is a strategic marketing agency, consulting house, and talent management company with a long resume across music, culture, and entertainment. They’ve worked with Samsung, Soho House, and more in the brand realm–along with strategic marketing and deals for talent such as Janet Jackson, Mýa, Andrea Valle, Juvenile, Janelle Monáe, and more.
Chanel Hinds
As a freelance creative production manager, Chanel Hinds oversees the planning and execution of creative projects for clients in the fashion, music, and entertainment industries. She manages teams, budgets, schedules, logistics, and vendor relations for projects ranging from modest independent films to sizable commercial shots. Across the span of her career, she has worked with Amazon, Google, Nike, Prada, Awake NY, and more.
The Brownie Agency
The Brownie Agency was founded to address a gap in the market that overlooked the magic of women of color. With backgrounds in fashion and music, founders Ayanna Wilks and Brianna Agyemang leverage their experience to curate events and lifestyle experiences centered around celebrating women of color.
A Gold Consulting
A Gold Consulting, an international boutique agency, was established by New York native Ah-Niyah Gold. As a fashion and beauty consultant, A Gold Consulting is dedicated to carving out space for the next generation, shaping the future of fashion, beauty, and beyond through innovative approaches to PR and VIP relations. With nearly a decade of experience in event production and creative services, Ah-Niyah embarked on her industry journey nearly nine years ago, collaborating with Brittney Escovedo of Beyond 8. Together, they assisted notable clients such as Pyer Moss, Betsey Johnson, and Bobbi Brown. Today, Ahniyah's agency represents exciting brands including Topicals, Black Fashion Fair, Theophilio, Advisry, Black Boy Knits, Bed on Water, and Homage Year.
ASHYA + Equator Productions
Ashley Cimone is a creative director, designer, and producer based in Brooklyn, NY. She co-founded ASHYA in 2017, a New York-based eco-friendly accessories design label that embraces travel, cultural awareness, style, and utility in its DNA. Additionally, she is a partner and executive producer at Equator Productions, a full-service studio at the intersection of art and advertising that has worked with brands like Ghetto Gastro, Nike, New Balance, Spotify, and Amazon.
Private Yard
When it comes to developer Caláh Jones, she is truly in her own lane! Using the power of intuition and technology with the goal of elevating and innovating the creative landscapes of others, Caláh started her experiential design and ideation lab Private Yard to fuel the web design and development needs of the culture — taking on partners who are genuinely committed to evolution. Her clientele has ranged from Renell Medrano and JT of The City Girls to the Collective Gallery and multiple brands within the fashion space.
TALENT & CREATOR AGENCIES
Meet the women who connect POC creators and influencers with brands & help our favorite social media mavens get paid what they deserve.
Agency Cliquish
Taylar Barrington-Booker is the Founder and Head of Talent & Partnerships at Agency Cliquish. Established in 2021 in response to the BLM protests, the agency is dedicated to providing not just corporate commitment but also guidance and support to help Black talent reach their full potential. Today, Agency Cliquish remains committed to culturally relevant, conscious, and advocacy-led influencer management for Black talent in the digital realm.
Kensington Grey
Kensington Grey is an Influencer management agency with a network of over 150+ creators rooted in diversity. Every day, brands, influencers, and social media managers are identifying gaps in the ever-evolving arena of content creation and digital marketing. Founded in 2019, Kensington Grey Agency was created to fill one such hole. Kensington Grey was created to be a direct answer to the lack of representation within the industry.
Black Girl Digital
Created by Latoya Shambo, Black Girl Digital is a mission-driven, award-winning, premium influencer marketing agency advancing the creator economy for Black women and all multicultural creators through fair and equitable brand partnerships.
Human Relations
Founded by PR genius Makensy Smith, LA-based Human Relations is a growth agency specializing in strategic communications and intentional partnerships for unconventional individuals. Smith's clientele includes Iddris Sandu, D Smoke, and NFL linebacker Bobby Wagner.
Agency.ab2
Amber Ajee is a multi-hyphenated muse + force. When she's not steering creative on the RCA label, she's pushing her creative talent house and management company AB2, a management consulting firm and agency that assists individuals and brands in building their true potential and producing their star ideas through the lens of a strategy. One of her clients currently includes the successful emerging artist 4batz who you can hear on every Reel and TikTok right now thanks to his song "act ii: date @ 8."
MEF Agency
MEF Agency, founded by Gabrielle Amai Williams, is a full-service marketing, creative, and social agency dedicated to maximizing the potential of businesses, brands, influencers, and entrepreneurs. They specialize in sales, social media, brand awareness, and PR— garnering clientele from Sephora, NARS, Nike, and Live Nation.
Blk Girl Studios
Ibukun Oladejo is the founder of Blk Grl Studios, a creative agency for Black influencers. She spearheads digital marketing, collaborating with major Black influencers on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube to amplify their presence and partner them with brands for inclusive social media campaigns. Notable clients include Nike, Afropunk, Sony Music, and MissGuided.
Beyond 8
Brittney Escovedo is an event producer and owner of the internationally successful agency Beyond 8. Beyond 8 is an events and lifestyle marketing company that curates events that go beyond the ordinary—offering innovative and immersive experiences. Beyond 8 has worked with Google, Saint Heron, Kering, Hood By Air, Uniqlo, Red Bull, and many more as their clientele list is ENDLESS! We stan!
abc group NYC
Jodi-Lee Reece is an experiential producer who's skilled in event management, production, contract negotiation, leadership, and experiential design. She is also the co-founder of ABC GROUP NY— a boutique experiential agency that specializes in event production and brand marketing within the fashion, lifestyle, tech, and entertainment industries.
BLK Girl Fest Studios
Founded by Nicole Krystal Crentsil, Black Girl Fest Studios is a cultural studio and consultancy specializing in social innovation, community, and experiences. Notable clients include Pinterest and eBay.
PHOTO & MEDIA VENDORS
Meet the women who create visual magic on the daily, across music videos, short- and long-form content, production, design, web, and more.
Trey Dgtl | Director + Producer
Founded by the visionary Treya Bolin, TREY DGTL is a dynamic production powerhouse specializing in visual storytelling. From immersive documentaries to short-form content, TREY DGTL has directed and produced for renowned clients such as Parsons, BET, Complex, American Express, Givenchy, Milk Makeup, and more. Treya Bolin's capabilities know no bounds.
Annie Bercy | Director + Photographer
From film directing, photography, video editing, graphic designing, and producing, Annie Bercy plays many roles in media. Working with the likes of SZA, Cardi B, and countless brands, there's no doubt that Annie's work has an iconic look and feel that simply cannot be duplicated.
Babe Cave LA | Director + Photographer
Randijah Simmons is a multidisciplinary artist and entrepreneur. In the summer of 2020, she opened up The Babe Cave LA and whether you're in the LA area or glued to your socials, you can always catch Randijah's work going viral across your timeline. Tinashe, Kari Faux, Flyana Boss, and Amaarae have been amongst her clientele and we think it's safe to say that this is just a taste of the opportunities to come.
Renell Medrano | Director + Photographer
Reigning from the Bronx, Renell Medrano is a Dominican-American photographer and director who continuously dominates our mooboards, TL's, and every editorial moment in between. Known for her raw and authentic approach to creative direction, Renell has photographed people like Kendall Jenner and Tyler The Creator to Jay-Z and André 3000, beauty brands like Burberry and Fenty, and has had multiple editorial pieces published under her name. And when she's not capturing shots, you can catch her steering her Ice Studios brand or inspiring the girls through her passion for fashion.
Keenan MacWilliam | Director + Photographer
Keenan MacWilliam is a Guyanese-Canadian filmmaker, creative director, and photographer whose style is inspired by the beauty of spontaneity and the observation of the human experience. Throughout her career, Keenan has collaborated with industry entities such as i-D, Spotify, The North Face, SZA, Hawa, and many others.
Exquisite Eye Studios | Director + Photographer
Breyona Holt who you may recognize as "Esquiite Eye" is an Atlanta native and artist who celebrates the timeless beauty and richness of Blackness. Inspired by her father's archival photography, Holt's work sparks dialogue about depicting Black skin, infusing vibrant colors and lushness to convey the intricacies of Black experiences. Collaborating with figures from sports, music, and fashion, including Serena Williams, SZA, Normani, and Kimora Lee Simmons, her imagery explores spiritual liberation and ethereal connections.
Nailah Howze #NaiShotThat | Director + Photographer
Nailah Howze, known as CloudNai, excels at capturing the essence of the Black community through her photography, showcasing the beauty of various cities and providing representation for the underrepresented. Her clientele includes New Balance, Adidas (with Yara Shahidi), Migos, Summer Walker, Big Sean, and numerous others.
Brain Studios
Kin Marie is a Chicago-based artist, film producer, post-colorist, and co-founder of the production company Brain Studios. Kin passionately prioritizes the visual culture of Afrofuturism—exploring its social implications and its potential as a blueprint for cultural evolution. Her work continues to serve as a platform for critical research and experimentation, examining the intersection of art, media, and social dynamics.
Dana Scruggs | Director + Photographer
Dana Scruggs, originally from Chicago's Southside, is a photographer and director based in New York. Her work centers on movement, abstraction, and eliciting emotion from the human form. Scruggs' distinctive vision has attracted clients worldwide, including Vanity Fair, SKKN, TIME, Rolling Stone, Glossier, The New York Times, Nike, Apple, GQ, and others.
The Ally Green | Director + Photographer
Alexandria Green, aka "The Ally Green," is a highly accomplished Black woman photographer and director based in LA, with NY as a secondary base. Starting in Houston, TX, she turned her early passion for photography into a full-time career by 18. Her impressive portfolio features collaborations with brands like Nike, HBO, and Toyota, and artists such as Travis Scott, Normani, and Kehlani. She's also partnered with Delta Airlines, Puma, Adidas, and luxury fashion houses like Dior, Versace, and Brandon Blackwood.
Renae Watson | Director + Photographer
Renae Wootson, also known as IIRONIC, is a visionary photographer whose work blends expressionism, portraiture, and documentary photography. With a focus on authenticity and depth, her work is described as 'visual poetry,' balancing simplicity with layered complexity. Collaborating with notable names such as Rolling Stone, Billboard, Alicia Keys, and Ralph Lauren, Wootson captures the intricacies of life and people through mood, emotion, and expression, embodying the core of her artistic ethos.
Milana Burdette | Director of Photography + Artist
Venice native Milana Burdette, a director of photography and artist, delves into the universal human experience through surreal visual narratives. By combining analog and experimental techniques, she crafts distorted dreamscapes that explore the essence of existence and challenge brutal subject matter. Her recent collaboration with Hennessy, Chad Easterling, and director Tevin Tavares showcases her ability to translate the reality of creating a legacy.
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.