Why I Refuse to Take My Phone To Bed
Good Morning!
This past weekend, I did an interview with former NFL star Arian Foster for his Now What! podcast. You can imagine we had a lot to talk about with me retiring from gossip blogging earlier than most would have expected, and him retiring from the NFL before the age of 30.
During our chat, we started talking about how our phone obsessions and the need to feel connected can make us disconnected in real life. And he was absolutely shocked when I told him I have boundaries when it comes to my phone. YES, I have major boundaries!
For instance, I don't bring my phone into the bedroom anymore. I think it's very important to establish healthy boundaries with our phones and social media. At worst, they can be distracting and addictive, keeping our productivity low and anxiety high. Secondly, the constant feed into other people's lives and negative news can put a damper on our spirits, as well as hinder our own personal growth. Did you know some people experience secondhand PTSD from reading about or viewing tragic and negative things on social media? (I learned this from my therapist!)
For these reasons, I implemented a few boundaries around my phone to keep my mental health in check, as well as allow me to be more connected in real life:
- I turned off all of the push notifications on my social media accounts. The only way I see that I have a message or notification on a particular social network is if I log into that network. That keeps me from checking my phone every minute due to getting an alert.
- I have my Do Not Disturb set up to automatically turn on from 10pm-8am so that I do not get calls or alerts for texts while I'm sleeping or before I start work. That allows me to really go through my morning ritual and have the morning to myself before I'm called to do work or plug into social media.
- I bought an alarm clock so that I would not have a reason to take my phone in my bedroom anymore. When your phone is beside you, sometimes you may get a habit of checking it occasionally and it becomes harder and harder to get to sleep at night, or to really get a good night's sleep. I have been getting the best uninterrupted sleep and have been waking up with a clearer head since I've implemented this!
- When I'm out to eat with friends or on a date after normal work hours, I normally turn my ringer off, place my phone on the table face down, or put it away altogether so that the person I'm spending time with has my undivided attention.
- When I'm on my laptop, I utilize the The Self Control App which prevents access to distracting websites so that you can get work done. After downloading, you are required to set up a blacklist of social media sites like Twitter, gossip blogs, etc that you spend more time than you should on, and it will prevent access to those sites for a set time period. Hello productivity!
Our relationships with phones do not have to be toxic. They serve a great purpose in our lives and can contribute to our overall wellbeing. We just have to set healthy boundaries and be intentional about how we allow them into our daily lives.
xo,
P.S. This week, our staff shared their personal self-care tips. It's one of my favorite posts! In case you missed it, meet the staff and get into their self-care routines here!
Featured image by Getty Images
- Healthy Personal Boundaries & How to Establish Them ›
- 4 Ways to Set and Keep Your Personal Boundaries | Psychology ... ›
- What Are Personal Boundaries? How Do I Get Some? | Psych Central ›
- Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self ›
- Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of ... ›
- 10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries | Psych Central ›
- Boundaries, routines and early bedtimes: 13 habits that raise well ... ›
- 6 Steps to Setting Boundaries in Relationships | HuffPost ›
Necole Kane is the founder and Editor In Chief of xoNecole.com. After spending 7 years as a successful celebrity gossip blogger, the Maryland native launched xoNecole.com with the mission to promote positive images of women of color as well as empower, educate, and inspire millennial women to live their best lives. Keep up with Necole on Instagram and Twitter @hellonecole, or through her personal website NecoleKane.com.
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Wellness And Spiritual Coach Koya Webb On Taking Up Space As A Black Woman In Yoga
There are some misconceptions about yoga and people who practice it, such as it's only for people who are flexible, thin, and/ or considered elite. However, none of those things are true, and Koya Webb is the perfect example. Koya is an international holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor who represents much of what yoga can do for others by allowing it to manifest in herself. The former track athlete began practicing yoga after a sports injury that affected her not only physically but mentally. As she was trying to push through the pain with yoga, she was facing another obstacle: isolation. There weren't many others who looked like her in her classes, so she felt alone.
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"And the teacher came to me and she was just like, just breathe with me. And she just took this deep inhale, exhale, and I felt the Holy Spirit like in my body— that I identify as spirit which is full body chills. And that's how I knew I was in the right place."
She continues, "So, even throughout the pain and throughout the stiffness in my body, and even though I felt like I didn't fit in, I didn't belong. I just did it anyway, and I cried through the pain. I breathed through the pain, and after a year, I completely healed my body, strengthen my mind, and I came back to win the conference championship in the heptathlon and was ranked 13th in the nation."
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"I got very far in my career and then I realized it's time for me to reach out to people that are afraid to reach out. Until I start focusing on other Black women and reaching out and saying, 'Hey, let's do this.' You know, and I think that was a really pivotal point because I feel like a lot of times because we've experienced so much trauma, we're just afraid. We've been hurt so much. We're just afraid and not just the the people that don't look like us but even each other."
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"I feel like just waking up and breathing, just mindful breath. You know, of course we're breathing all the time, but like, deep inhale, deep exhale like 10 deep inhalations and exhalations when they wake up and then just some gentle stretches in bed," she says.
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