What Self-Care Looks Like For Lifestyle Guru Hey Fran Hey
Good things come to those who grind. The early bird gets the worm. Sleep is for the rich.
I can bet you $20 that you've seen one of the aforementioned quotes on a meme or status on social media. If you're like me, hearing any of the three anecdotes above immediately sends a wave of anxiety through your body, and makes you think of all of the things you won't possibly have time to accomplish today. The "grind" is a lifestyle that we as millennials boast and work hard to maintain because there's said to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But Francheska Medina, a Harlem-based wellness advocate and media personality, says those theories are bullsh*t.
Francheska, now more popularly known as Hey Fran Hey and one third of the popular The Friend Zone podcast, is living proof that trying to keep up with the grind can mean risking both your physical and mental health.
Nearly a decade ago, the now 36-year-old wellness coach was on track to put out her debut musical project when she was struck by an illness that not even doctors could explain. She said, "I wasn't eating, stress levels were high, wasn't sleeping. Was kind of on that #TeamNoSleep bullshit that people are on now. But think about it, it's called "grind life." I grinded myself into nothingness and got so sick. And that summer was really bad. It was a rock bottom at the time, but it ended up being a complete shift in my consciousness, where I was hospitalized."
"I grinded myself into nothingness and got so sick."
Courtesy of Francheska Medina
Many times, we don't know what we have until it's gone, and that was true for many of life's basic necessities at this point in Fran's life. It was then that the young entrepreneur realized the only choice she had was to make a change in her lifestyle.
"Sometimes you take things for granted the most basic things. Like being able to walk, feed yourself, use the bathroom, shower. Those are things that we overlook on a day-to-day basis. And it took me losing the ability to do all of those things to realize, like woah. I am not focused on the areas of life where i should be focused and pouring my energy into, which is me. As a person, as a human being first, before music or creativity or a career - all of that had kind of taken a backseat to my goals. So that is where the shift came in of, Fran first, career next. Wellness became my priority."
"Fran first, career next. Wellness became my priority."
Since then, Fran hasn't looked back. She currently uses her platform to share information, tips, and resources to help other women live their best lives and truly find alignment. In addition to co-hosting The Friend Zone, Fran is currently on a 12-city wellness tour, and was just named one of the official hosts of HBO's Insecure Podcast, but somehow she still makes time to prioritize self-care.
We got a chance to talk to Fran about how she makes time for her own wellness despite her busy schedule, and here's what she had to say:
xoNecole: What is an average day or week like for you?
Fran: It's kind of hard to pin down because it changes so much. My self-care acts are my priority. Before, it was a thing where my work was first, and then I would kind of figure out ways to integrate self-care, but that's completely switched since I got older. Now self-care is first. So, I wake up in the morning, meditate, make my breakfast. Sensuality and catering to my five senses are kind of what helps me have a good day.
I'll have to have resins burning, make sure the lighting in my apartment is up to par. I even have bulbs that have a remote, so it changes with the color wheel. I'm very much a Taurus, all of my sense have to stimulated in order for me to wake up in the morning. Obviously, eating good food. I don't jump on the phone. Everyone who knows me knows I'm not texting, calling, or speaking to anyone before noon, because that's kind of my little cocoon time frame. I work out, go to the gym, run a three-miler, lift some weights, do some HIIT workouts.
Once I feel like Fran is taken care of, like my body, my mind, my emotional health, then I hop online and cater to my workload. I try to work from about noon until maybe 6 or 7, taking small breaks here and there, small dance breaks if I'm at home. Then I eat dinner, then I read or watch a doc. You know, something to keep myself sharp. I'm in bed by 11 now, that's been my biggest shift this year, fixing my sleep schedule. So I'm in bed by 11 now, which has been so great for me. It's been great for my mood and cut down on anxiety with a heavy schedule. Unless I'm traveling for the tours, that's a whole different ball game.
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week/your work?
When you're creating weekly for so many different projects, it's easy for something to slip or fall to the wayside. I think with taking my time, and being so well organized now, has allowed me to focus on each project and give it 100 percent. I don't believe in multitasking. That's another thing that I've completely cut out. Because multitasking was what was making my projects slip. There's no way you can give 100 percent to multiple projects at once, so the way that I schedule myself is that each thing gets its own couple of hours or it's own day of my week. That was making me feel raggedy after a while.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
I'm lucky enough that I work with all my friends. All the podcasts we're apart of, we're all integrated into it. So my podcasts, both of them are with my friends. My wellness tour is with my friends. I've designed a life where not only do I do what I want to do, but I'm also surrounded by the people that I want to be surrounded by. And luckily, we have the similar interests so our life can mesh in the different intersections, which is my favorite part. I literally have a dream life. So, that's how I get to see them.
"I've designed a life where not only do I do what I want to do, but I'm also surrounded by the people that I want to be surrounded by."
Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images for Westfield
Love/Relationships? Dating?
My last relationship was a mirror of where my head was at and it wasn't a good relationship. There were a lot of really heavy aspects of it that taught me a lot about how I view love. Your whole value system is mirrored to you through these relationships. So I realized I needed to take a break and recalibrate because I wasn't liking who I was in relationships and I realized I was falling into very similar patterns repeatedly. So I've actually been on sabbatical or hiatus from relationships until I can get to the point where I think I'd be a better and strong contribution, as well as receiving a partner that could be a better contribution. It just hasn't been a priority, I've had to do a little bit of work first.
Exercise? How has working out benefited you mentally and spiritually?
Exercise is a huge part of my lifestyle. Not so much being in the gym, like I'll make time for it. But it's more so just the connection. The connection with my body. It's making sure that with all these flights and all these projects that I'm getting good stretching in, that my circulation is flowing, that my heart is getting movement, that I'm getting sun because it's easy to stay cooped up working all day. It's more so the connection, knowing that I'm hitting all the cylinders. I like more restorative forms of working out. My body was completely different. I was a lot thinner and really ripped up, but it wasn't sustainable for me. I wanted something that could be integrated a little more seamlessly. So it's like riding my bike, going for a run outside. Even dancing from Afrobeat playlists.
Health? Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
Cooking more for sure. Because eating out, especially in Harlem, there aren't a lot of options for the food that I like to eat. It's growing because it's gentrified, so there are more vegan options. But I tend to just make my own stuff. I'm flexible between being a vegetarian and vegan. Eggs kind of makes me switch between the two.
Do you ever detox?
No, because my lifestyle at this point is one big detox. It's literally how I live, so I don't feel that I need to push my body to detox any more.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
Solitude. The only times I start feeling that way is when I'm listening to too many people and not listening to myself. It never fails. For me, I don't even view it as a bad thing, I just view it as a gauge of how much time I'm spending with my intuition, my own heart, my own thoughts. It's like a barometer that says, your ears have been perked a little too long. So I just withdraw a little bit, read more, write down my goals and thoughts and the way i want to execute thoughts. It's a sign that Fran, you need to spend a little more time to yourself.
And honestly, what does success mean to you?
Success for me changes for me day-to-day. But as long as I'm doing what I want. As long as I'm waking up and not feeling misaligned. Room for me to channel what Fran needs to put out into the world.
For more of Fran, follow her on Instagram and check out her website for curated calmness on the go, Hey Fran Hey.
Featured image courtesy of Hey Fran Hey
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage