Whodini posed a question that still remains unanswered for many, "Friends. How Many of Us Have Them?"
Well, let me answer that by saying I have been blessed to have the same ten group of friends since elementary and middle school. They've grown to be more than friends. They are my sisters. We've been through everything, from puppy love to graduations to weddings to parenting, and I wouldn't change a thing.
Related: Your Best Girlfriend Just Might Be Your Soulmate
I've learned a lot from them over the years. I laugh my way through even the toughest circumstances simply from a silly action or comment made by one of my hilarious sista-friends. I've learned what it truly means to give myself more credit. I don't always admit it, but I believe I would've lost myself along the way if it weren't for my friends. Friends are there when it matters most. Believe it or not, some friends will have your back more than your own kin. Sad, but true. I'd like to think friendships are your own personal judgment-free zone in which you can confide in, cry to, be authentically you, encourage, and enjoy life with.
One thing's for certain, within every group of friends, there are at least five different types of friends that we all have (and need). Some friends may even be all of these types in one.
1.The Down-To-Ride Friend
She's the friend will put a whole new perspective on "ride or die," the friend who is down for everything. This can be a good and bad thing, but in my case, it's always been more positive than anything else. Think of her as the one that always has your back in a time of need. This friend is the friend who's ready to pull a drive-by mission when you need to stalk that not-so-ex boyfriend of yours.
She's ready to back you up even though in the back of her mind she's probably questioning your current life decisions. She is literally down to ride even if that means an hour commute just to grab a bite from your favorite spot. She's ready, willing, and able with no questions asked. Loyalty is an understatement.
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- 10 Kinds of Friends Everyone Needs | HuffPost ›
- The Types of Friends Everyone Needs | Time ›
- 14 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life - Thrillist ›
- Everyone Needs a Friend - ensign ›
- 5 Types of Friends Everyone Should Have - Real Simple ›
- Everyone Needs a Friend Like Barb - The Ringer ›
- 5 Different Kinds Of Friends Everyone Should Have - mindbodygreen ›
- The 4 Kinds of Friends You MUST Have – Be Yourself ›
- What makes a good friend? | Friendships | ReachOut Australia ›
- 7 Must-Have Work Friends for Teachers - Teachingcom ›
- The 13 Essential Traits of Good Friends | Psychology Today ›
- Do You Have These Friends? Must Friends, Trust Friends, Rust ... ›
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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