Don't Shrink To Fit In & Other Lessons To Learn Quickly At Work
After college, I had the 'Becoming A Workforce Drone' Starter Pack equipped with a leather portfolio, a silver business card holder, and a bunch of boring blazers and statement necklaces. I was ready to wow all of the hiring managers. The only problem was, I didn't know myself very well.
As a result, I learned how to look and speak the part of someone I never wanted to be. At the time, I was proud of this. Interview after interview found me posturing, awaiting nods of approval. However, it would take a series of burnouts in positions that were never for me to find myself.
Interviewing eventually became less soul-sucking, intimidating, and audition-y but only after I learned a few lessons:
All Experience Is Rainwater
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Rain is said to be the purest water to drink and the best choice for growing healthy crops. We don't necessarily enjoy rainy days, but they're good for us. Your life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - is rainwater.
The internships taught you which career paths suited you - or didn't. The difficult professors taught you how to advocate for yourself. The entry-level job taught you humility, process, and procedure. Being laid off taught you the importance of financial soundness. Being promoted showed you that hard work does have its rewards.
When you step into interviews or enter new rooms, toss the generic answers and consider your rainwater. What unique experience(s) can you share?
What You Don't Want Can Lead To What You Do
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My resume is quite diverse because for the better part of my career, I was searching for significance and denying what I really wanted to do. So I settled for comfort in jobs that didn't really fulfill me. Looking back, I can see how each job and career move built my confidence to figure myself out and get to work on becoming the woman I wanted to be. I also picked up invaluable skills along the way.
The wrong thing made me so uncomfortable, I had no choice but to sprint toward the right thing.
Titles Are Only As Important As You Make Them
I was the girl who couldn't wait to get my business card at any new job. I wanted the clout more than I enjoyed most of those positions. Desperation for significance with little commitment to preparation and purpose made me value a title more than myself.
I know, it's not the sexy career talk we like but it's necessary. Some people without senior titles do the work of senior administrators and more. Some senior administrators struggle to work a copy machine. Titles are just things.
They don't define you. Learn what you need to learn to be who you want to be. Get clear on who you are and what you bring - that's your value and it will promote you in due time.
A Good Interview Is A Conversation
My last interview was one of the most freeing experiences of my life. The hiring director and I had a conversation framed by my diverse work experience and what led me to the arts. I told a story of being extreme burnt out from pursuing what was not meant for me and she immediately connected. I asked questions to be sure it was a fit for me and we ended the interview with a job offer.
We're human and we connect through storytelling and authenticity. If you don't know your story, you will rehearse what sounds good and never connect. Interviewers are humans. Talk to them, not through them.
I don't try to be who they want anymore. I show up honestly.
If you show up as your most authentic self, share who you are and what you bring and it is not well-received, then you know that place is not for you. This is true of life, not just job interviews. Be grateful that there is now more room for the right opportunity to come to you.
Do not shrink to fit in. Chin up. Go get it.
Featured image by Getty Images
Related Stories:
The Black Girl's Guide To Adulting - Read More
What To Ask A Potential Employer When Changing Careers - Read More
Angela Yee Shares How To Master The Art Of Side Hustling - Read More
For Women Who Feel Like They Have To Constantly Chase What's Next - Read More
Ashley is a storybuilder and storyteller who writes and produces to inform, connect, encourage and evoke. Vibe with her on Twitter/Instagram: @ashleylatruly.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It Girl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production company: @polly___studio
Producer/AD: Samuel Cho @choboi90
Producer/Tech: Paul Nguyen @paul__winn
DP: Cristian Bernal @cristianbernal
Editor: @30inthemorning
2nd Cam: Paul Nguyen
1st AC: AJ Paug @ajpaug Gaffer: Dennis Albert @dennisalbert_
Audio Mixer: Victor Chavez @vic_the__
PA: Rick Carreno @ispeakrick
PA: Tiffany Do @tivani.doee
BTS Photo: Prime @theartofprime
Car Detail: @sud_studs @slugglobal
Creative Director @hellobosco
Team Lead @kevgumbo3000
Project Manager @zakk_jullot
Creative Producer @iamkingsheyla
Designers @miacolemxn @noelspiva
@xoNecole
Director, Integrated Marketing @_vang
Campaign Manager @kingchachiii
Talent Lead @kaylawalker
Feature image by Prime/ @theartof prime