DJ Envy & Gia Casey On The Realities Of Love Not Being So 'Gram Perfect
Search the popular hashtag #RelationshipGoals on social media and there will be an influx of picture-perfect couples engaged in a photo opt on a red carpet or on vacation. We see these images, hit the like button, and hope to one day be that couple.
While we crave the lifestyle publicized in front of us via social media, most notably Instagram, we often ignore that couple's story and what it took for them to be where they are today. One of the couples that fall into the #RelationshipGoals category is The Breakfast Club's Raashaun "DJ Envy" Casey and his wife Gia Casey. You can't look on their Instagram pages without falling in love with photos of their big adorable family in matching outfits with clear blue waters as their backdrop, or dressed up in elegant gowns and tuxedos as they wish everyone a Happy New Year.
But the Caseys are more than just a filtered photo. The couple met as teenagers in Queens, NY and have been together for 23 years, married for 16. It's not hard to imagine all of the things DJ Envy and Gia had to overcome as a couple throughout their years together. With their shared podcast The Casey Crew, the couple have managed to bring dimension to the label Relationship Goals and bring realness and transparency to their unfiltered side.
Launched only a year ago, The Casey Crew podcast has touched on a variety of topics, such as love, money, kids, and infidelity, hoping to be a true testament for listeners who are facing hardships in their relationships and don't know how to come out of it on the other side. In fact, their first live show was titled "The Cheating Episode" and they talked about DJ Envy's infidelity, not holding back a single detail.
As they continue to candidly share their unconditional love for one another and their family with the world through their podcast and social media, I think it's safe to say that we are undoubtedly witnessing the genesis of a power couple.
On why it was important for them to be explicit about their marriage on their podcast:
DJ Envy: "The funny thing is, we're not acting and so, sometimes when you're listening to the podcast, you will hear us discuss things such as my insecurities or how we dealt with this and that and it's really opening up to people like, 'Wow we do this, it's normal.' Because when you look on social media, everybody's lives are so picture perfect, but it's not perfect."
Gia: "In order to do a podcast and to be successful, you have to put yourself in a position where other people can relate to you, so it was never an interest to me, when we discussed doing the podcast, to be fraudulent [and] to put out a face that didn't represent us."
On habits that they believe ensure a happy, successful marriage:
The Real
DJ Envy: "We're both into each other's things. I'm a car guy. Ever since I was a little child, I collected cars and Gia's into that. She can tell a difference between a Ferrari, McLaren, Mercedes, or an Aston Martin - not necessarily because she's into it, but because her husband's into it and same for me. I probably know more about shoes and Birkin bags, Kelly bags, Constance bags, Chanel Boy bags, Louis Vuitton and jewelry than most women out there, but I am because my wife is into it. Not only that, but most people don't know that maybe 98% of the stuff my wife has, I bought and that's just because I like shopping for her. I like going to the mall and saying, 'I think my wife will like this.' And 95% of the time, I'm right. I don't like watching The Bachelor, well maybe I do a little bit, but I'll sit and watch it with her."
Gia: "Suffering the whole time, but it's the effort." (Laughs)
DJ Envy: "And it's the same thing with football, you know. She's in there watching it with me and yeah, she asks a lot of questions, 'What position is that?'"
Gia: "Oh, so I annoy you now?"
DJ Envy: "I didn't say you annoy me, you just ask a lot of questions. But she does that because she knows I'm into it."
On how they keep things spicy:
DJ Envy: "We just try to recreate different things that are outside of the box. We do role play. I've been Barack Obama, I've been a cowboy."
Gia: "He's been Maxwell, most memorably."
DJ Envy: "That was in college by the way, when I was Maxwell. But we try to do things where we spice things up. Our goal is to satisfy each other and have fun in our relationship. We don't take anything too serious. We have date night every week where we leave the kids at home and do different things, whether it's a movie, dinner, or we stay in a hotel in the city, or we go gambling."
Gia: "We go to the spa."
DJ Envy: "It's something that we do once a week so we can have that time so that we can say this is our time or we might just stay at home and watch El Chapo or Narcos."
Gia: "Our biggest goal is to have fun with each other. You can't really ask how do you keep things spicy without asking how do you stay connected because you stay connected and you actually like the person you're married to and enjoy each other's company, then the sexy kinda follows suit."
On how they cater to each other's wants and desires:
Gia: "We both take really good care of ourselves for one another. To me, Raashaun always looks sexy. I feel like when he gets dressed, he's getting dressed for me. I don't get dressed for women, I don't get dressed for other men. I get dressed for my husband. If I'm choosing a shade of lipstick, I'm thinking about what he might like, what appeals to him. When I'm deciding to do my hair, I'm thinking, 'Well, he likes it parted down the middle and straight, that's what I'm going to do.' Like we are very into pleasing each other in all facets, including the bedroom, and we try different things."
"He makes me feel like he's looking at gold."
"If you can imagine being with someone for 23 years, all the sex we've had. (Laughs). Obviously. But how many things can you do begs that question right? Like the other day, Raashaun came home with four books on Tantra and he was like 'look this is something I think we need to get into' and I'm like 'bet. Let's start a little you and me book club.' That interests me and it impresses me that he's still into it and enthusiastic about it and that turns me on because you know as a woman, the more a man is into you, the more you are into them and the better you perform. The more a man makes you feel secure, the better you perform. You don't feel as inhibited because he's looking at [you] like he's looking at gold. He might be looking at copper for real (laughs), but I don't know that because he makes me feel like he's looking at gold."
On maintaining a relationship with their kids despite their busy schedules:
DJ Envy: "First off, we are open and honest with our kids about everything."
Gia: "We might be too honest."
DJ Envy: "From finances [to] whatever. In our house, our kids know what's going on. If I'm paying a bill, I tell my kids what the bill is and how much it is so that they get a sense of what money is and the value of money and how hard we work to bring that money in."
Gia: "Right, because if you have kids like ours, if you don't take those teaching moments and show them the difference between $200 and $2000, all they know is, if they ask for something and they're well behaved, they get it. So, it's important that they understand what $200 can buy you, what $2000 can buy you. They can have a point of reference so that when they are growing into young adults, they have a good perspective on money and value. But like I was saying earlier ,when my kids first come home, they drop their book bags at the front door, they walk up the stairs, and come straight into my room where I usually am. They take off their shoes and hop in the bed and they spend about a half hour each catching me up on their day. We're very close."
On what's next for the Caseys:
The Real
DJ Envy: "We love the podcast and we're gonna continue to do the podcast and really just push the brand. We really enjoy helping people and talking to people about our relationship in hopes that it can help them in their relationship. We'll do more podcasts, live events and take it on the road where we'll see people in different markets. You never know you may see us on TV one day, cross our fingers."
Follow The Casey Crew on Soundcloud or iTunes. And keep up with the Caseys on social @djenvy and @gia_casey.
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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