Dating

Navigating the holidays can be tricky when you start dating someone new. You're either faced with spending the holidays separately – each of you enjoying time with your own families – or spending time with each other's family. Depending on how serious your new relationship is, your partner may convince you to do the latter: meet their family for the first time.

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In the words of the Wise Solange:

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Dear Ayana Iman: I just can't seem to win when it comes to love. I love myself tremendously, and I'm always told how much of a "light" I am to my suitor's lives. But when it comes to commitment, it never happens. Help?!

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You know what they say—you tend to see things a heck of a lot clearer when you look at them in hindsight. After experiencing almost 12 years of abstinence (which I'll get into at another time—I promise), one thing that I recognize is I had a pattern of sleeping with my guy friends.

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I fell in love with the show Love Is__ as soon as I heard Nuri, half of the show's couple, ask, "Why can't a woman expect her partner to match her efforts and what she brings to the table... " or something to that effect. I was hooked. I immediately sent the 60-sec video clip to all of my independent but single homies and let them know that there was a new show to add to the roster while Black Love was on hiatus.

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'Tis the season. Yes, it's that time of year that many people like to refer to as "cuffing season" – when you're "cuffed" up and cuddled up with someone during the long fall and winter months.

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