Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day
As Valentine's Day approaches there's one thing that's on everybody's mind. Yes, you guessed it: Sex. I always end up doing the latter. I've never been one that puts too much pressure on myself to make a grand gesture toward myself or anyone I'm dating on Valentine's Day. I might buy myself flowers on a weekday or try a new dish at my favorite restaurant at least. At most, I might take a pole dancing class or try a new cannabis lube, anything to get the heart rate up.
Disclaimer: I will take any opportunity try something new, especially if it's cannabis-infused.
Cannabis has a long list of health benefits, and in my experience, it's done wonders for my sex life. It's hard to enjoy sex, or anything pleasurable for that matter, if you're not present in the moment. Cannabis has made sex a more intentional exercise in self-awareness and mindfulness for me. I've tried several different cannabis lubes, did a YouTube review about it, and have had better orgasms by myself and with a partner because of it. If you haven't any Valentine's Day plans yet, it's not too late. Make the reservations, look at the restaurant wine list, and treat yourself to a cannabis lubricant to end the night in true Valentine's Day fashion.
Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to learn your body in a more intimate way and explore sex by intensifying your experience with cannabis lube. Here's why:
1. Cannabis and Wellness Go Together
Cannabis is a wellness tool that can be used in a variety of ways. Sex included. Cannabis lube is a natural enhancement, allowing you to get out of your head and into your body. Because it's often associated with an elevated mood and overall sense of well-being, you can expect that your sexual experience will be nothing less than delicious. Like biting into a heart-shaped piece of dark chocolate, using cannabis before sex stimulates the production of endorphins, the chemical in the brain that create feelings of pleasure.
2. It’s a Natural Alternative
If you consider sex a form of self-care, then you might want to seriously consider what lube you've been using up until this point. Cannabis lubricants act as a natural alternative to other sex lubes on the market because they are often accompanied by other natural ingredients like coconut oil and cardamom, which relieves fatigue and increases stamina. And because cannabis decreases vaginal dryness, it can also help prevent UTIs and yeast infections.
3. Everybody’s Talking About It
Cannabis and sex is probably one of the most exhilarating conversations happening among women right now, partly because it's about more than getting your vagina high. Not only does cannabis have anxiety-reducing effects in small amounts — so you don't have to stress yourself out about being single on Valentine's Day — but it's also believed to "increase libido ….which in turn can release positive endorphins and increase vaginal lubrication," according to New York Gynecologist Dr. Monica Grover of Asira Medical.
4. Studies are Revealing the Truth about Cannabis and Sex
While cannabis lubricant is not something that's entirely new to me, I realize for a lot of women it's never been tried or tested. That's beginning to change. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (JSM) entitled "The Relationship Between Marijuana Use Prior to Sex and Sexual Function in Women" revealed nearly 70% of women reported more pleasurable sex and almost 62% said it enhanced the quality of their orgasms and their libidos in general.
Are you down to try?
Featured image by Giphy
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Originally published on February 9, 2019
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DeJanae Evins is a certified cannabis educator, consultant and the creator of GreenGoddessGlow, a digital resource at the intersection of cannabis and wellness encouraging mindful cannabis self-care practices. Evins is also a freelance health and wellness writer often discussing topics around sexual health and women's empowerment. Since learning about the Plant Queendom and the many ways we can use plant medicine to heal ourselves both individually and on a global scale, Evins has been vocal in both the cannabis and wellness communities about integrating cannabis in her approach to holistic health. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @dejanaetanye.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It’s been nearly twenty years since India.Arie’s crown anthem, “I am not my hair,” gave Black women an affirmation to live by. What followed was a natural hair revolution that birthed a new level of self-love and acceptance. Concerns around how to better care for our hair birthed an entire new generation of entrepreneurs who benefitted from the power of the Black dollar. Retailers made room for product lines made for us, by us, on their shelves, and we further affirmed that though our hair doesn’t define us, it is part of our unique self-expression.
Today, that movement has turned into a wig uprising where Black women are able to experiment with colors, styles, and more without causing irreparable damage to our hair. It could even be said that we’ve arrived at a new level of acceptance: one that does not equate love of oneself to one’s willingness or lack thereof to wear her hair the way others deem acceptable. Not even other people who look like us.
However, as with Blackness itself, the issue of Black women’s hair is layered.
On the surface, it’s nothing more than a matter of personal preference. However, in a deeper dive, issues of texture, curl pattern, and of course, proximity to social acceptance, as well as other runoff streams from the waters of racism and patriarchy, rear their heads. The natural hair movement, though a wide-reaching and liberating community builder, also gave way to colorism and often upheld mainstream beauty standards.
Sometimes, favoring lighter-skinned influencers/creators with very specific hair textures, the white gaze leaked into our safe space and forced us to reckon with it. Accurate representations of natural hair in various states of being—undefined curls, kinks, and unlaid edges—are still absent from brand marketing. Protective styles, though intended to provide breaks from styling for our sensitive hair, have become a mask to help our hair be more palatable. A figurative straddle of the fence in order to appease the comfort of others in the face of our hair’s power.
And then there’s the issue of length.
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As a woman who has spent much of the last decade voluntarily wearing her hair in many variations of short hairstyles, from a pixie cut to a curly fro and a sleek bob, what I’ve gleaned throughout the years is that there is a glaring difference between how I am treated when wearing my hair short than when I opt for weaves, extensions or even grow it out slightly longer than my chin.
The differential treatment comes from women and men alike and spans professional and personal settings, including friends, coworkers, and industry peers.
What has become abundantly clear is that long hair is often conflated with beauty, softness, and any number of other words we relate to femininity in a way that short hair is not. That perceived marker of the essence of womanhood shows up in how I am received, communicated with, and complimented.
Even more so than texture, length has a way of deciding who among us is deserving of our attention, affection, and adoration. Whether naturally grown or proudly bought, the commentary around someone’s look or image greatly shifts when “inches” are present.
When it comes to long hair, we really, really do care.
In an effort to understand whether I had simply been misinterpreting the energy around my hair, I decided to take my findings to social media. I began with two side-by-side photos of myself. In both pictures, my hair is straightened; however, in one, I am wearing my signature pixie cut, and in the other, I am wearing extensions.
I posited that treatment based on hair length is a real thing, and what followed was confirmation that I was not alone in my feelings. “Long hair, like light skin, button noses, and being thin are all forms of social capital,” one user commented. “Some Black women enforce the status quo too, why wouldn’t we?”
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This also brought to mind the many times celebrity women (like most recently Beyoncé's Cécred hair tutorial) have done big reveals of their own natural tresses in an attempt to silence any doubt that Black women are able to grow their hair beyond a certain length. Of course, we all know that to be true, so why do we still feel the need to prove it so?
The responses continued to pour in from women of all skin tones, who felt that hair length played a role in people’s treatment of them. “When I have short hair I always feel like people don’t treat me like a woman, they treat me like a kid,” another user commented. “When my hair is long I get a lot more respect for some reason.”
From revelations about feeling invisible to admitted shifts in their own perceived beauty, Black woman after Black woman poured out her experience as it relates to hair length. Though affirmed by their shared realities, knowing that reactions to something so trivial have become yet another hair battle for Black women to fight was disheartening. Though we continue to defy gravity and push the bounds of imagination and creativity by way of our strands, will it always be in response to the idea that we are, somehow, falling short?
Unlike more obvious instances of hair discrimination, the glorification of longer length is sneakier in its connection to Eurocentric beauty standards. Hair commercials, beauty ads, and even hip-hop music have long celebrated the idea of gloriously long tresses while holding onto the ignorant notion that it is inaccessible for Black women.
Even as we continue to fight to prove our hair professional, elegant, and worthy in its natural state to the world at large, we’ve also adopted harmful value markers of our own as a community. It’s evident in how we talk about who has the right to start a haircare line and which influencers we easily platform. It’s evident in the language we use to identify those with long hair versus short hair. And it’s painfully obvious in how we treat one another.
It makes me wonder if India.Arie’s brave rallying cry, almost two decades old in its existence, will ever actually hold true for us. Or will we just continue to invent new ways to uphold the harmful status quo?
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Feature image by Willie B. Thomas/ Getty Images