Bring It: How Dianna Williams Balances Being A Reality TV Star & A Married Woman
On television, we know her as "Coach D" and her dance students and dance moms affectionately refer to her as "Miss D" or "Mom D." In real life, however, her close family and friends know her more intimately as Dianna Williams – a wife, mother, and an entrepreneur.
Every week, viewers tune in to see how Coach D will deliver another dance competition victory for her talented and unstoppable Dancing Doll factory (#DD4L) on the Lifetime hit series Bring It!. Dianna's tough, no-nonsense, and powerful method of coaching clearly works when it comes to encouraging and empowering her dancers to leave it all on the dance floor. It's no wonder that the Dancing Dolls bring the heat and take home a victory almost every competition.
Dianna not only knows how to win on the dance floor, she also wins in another important part of her life: marriage. This is evident by the fact that she and her husband, Robert Williams, recently celebrated ten years of marriage, which is something Dianna does not take lightly. "When you're married, it's definitely a life-altering situation. I feel like one year is something to celebrate," she revealed exclusively to xoNecole.
Twitter/@I_AM_DIANNA
Viewers often see her tough exterior on the show, but it's her softer and more vulnerable side that we aren't always privy to. Nevertheless, she's managed, and is learning how to embrace and balance both her strong and vulnerable sides.
Being in the public eye and being successful can easily cause one to develop a rough exterior of protection. However, Dianna has always felt the need to protect herself because she was constantly being judged, and she can remember having shade thrown at her since she was a little girl. Hence, the inspiration for her new book Standing in the Shade.
"We share a love amongst each other that other people don't get to see. My husband isn't judgmental and I've been through a lot. He's been consistent, loving me through it and unashamedly."
It's the time she spends with her husband when she feels most comfortable and allows herself to be vulnerable. From national competitions to tours and appearances, Dianna is constantly on-the-go, but having her husband by her side serves as the constant support she desires to help balance everything. "It's comforting. I feel like I have a safety net. When I'm at home, I know I'm okay. If anything happens, he will make sure it's okay," she shared.
And for Dianna, her love for and support from Robert isn't anything new. Although Robert was living in Atlanta at the time, it was at a club in Jackson, Mississippi where they first met. He was so captivated by Dianna's beauty and her personality that he immediately proclaimed that night on the dance floor, "Girl you look so good. You're going to make me move back to Jackson."
And just like that, Robert packed up his things and moved to Missippi to pursue a life with the woman of his dreams. "People say stuff…and you never believe it's true or [that] it's going to work out but he actually moved back to Jackson," Dianna said.
For the first three or four months, their relationship was tested and they went through a lot together. While Dianna and Robert were excited to celebrate this new beginning together in Jackson, it was bittersweet as well because Robert ended up losing his job for a period. Nevertheless, it didn't stop Robert from showing Dianna that he could hold his own and be the man that he wanted to be for her.
For Dianna, that was the first time in a long time that she didn't have to take care of somebody else. She saw his resilience and his strong work ethic, which attracted her to him that much more. "He did things to make sure we had food in the house. Nothing was ever too grimy [for him]. Seeing that in him, him wanting me to be okay… for the first time in a long time, it wasn't me having to take care of anybody. He was looking out for me."
Although Robert was and has always been ready and willing to step up and be the man for her, the transition for Dianna wasn't (and at times still isn't) always easy for her. According to Coach D, she's always felt as if she's had to be independent. Since the age of nine, for more than twenty years of her life, she was constantly cooking, cleaning, and looking after her brothers. Hence, she has always taken on the role of "the boss," which has obviously helped her to be as successful as she is now. However, she didn't know how to allow others to help her, which is something she still struggles with to this day as a married woman.
"My husband is a good man, but I've been independent for so long. It's not that I don't think my husband [or] feel like my husband wouldn't take care of me or wouldn't do certain things, but I'm just so used to doing it or getting it done."
Nevertheless, after ten successful years of marriage, Dianna and Robert are finding the balance and making it work. Between filming, working, and traveling, Dianna's schedule can become quite busy and hectic. The fact that Robert gets up with their son every single morning and takes him to school proves that teamwork makes the dream work. Even when she needs him to be with her on the road, he's there.
Besides being a mom, wife, coach, and TV personality, she also owns and manages three Dollhouse Dance Studios; she's an author; she released a new set of emojis (DD4L Emojis), and she recently started a non-profit foundation. It's no surprise that the outside stress and noise of everything that comes with proactively pursuing your dreams can be quite overwhelming at times, but Robert is always there to encourage her. "My husband definitely lets me cry and I cry a lot. He tells me 'I'm going to let you cry, but when we're done, we're done. This is the gift that you have. I'm not going to let you walk away until you're sure you're done. We're not going to do it out of emotion and frustration so you don't live with regret.'"
Courtesy of Dianna Williams
He also reminds her of who she is in moments life makes her question that. "'Remember who you are,'" she recalls him saying. "'There is strength in who you are!'"
It's obvious through all of her success that Dianna is committed to winning the dancefloor but even more importantly, she is committed to maintaining a winning marriage. For Dianna, she's learned that in order to be successful in marriage you have to listen, be open-minded, learn to compromise, and you can't be selfish. And her biggest key? She believes marriage is truly victorious when "you allow your partner to win as much as you want to win."
To keep up with Coach D, follow her on Instagram.
Feature image courtesy of Twitter/@I_AM_DIANNA.
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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