I Took A Sip & Paint Class Full Of Naked Men - This Is What Happened
Black men have always been a work of art.
The beauty of their skin, glowing like black gold. The kinkiness of their hair. The broadness of their noses. The honey of their laughter. The purity of their smiles. And the fullness of their lips. All attributes that exemplify the breadth of their physicality.
But it's more than that. It's their strength, the hard work that can be felt in their hands, the undeniable essence of their masculinity, the rumble of their tone, how they hold their shoulders when they walk into a room. I could spend hours lost within them.
Sometimes I find myself creating montages in my head as I pass black men along the street. Angie Stone's "Brotha" acting as the soundtrack.
It was that affinity that led me to indulging my curiosity at Atlanta's hottest sip and paint event Booze And Nudes one Thursday night. Organized and founded by Jasmine Strickland, Booze And Nudes was created to push the African-American culture forward by allowing people within the community to experience various parts of the artistic experience in new and exciting ways.
Message received.
As I stared at the tall, dark, and handsome prototype standing on the podium in the center of the room, I was hypnotized. He looked like something that belonged in a museum. Embodying both a masterpiece and a work-in-progress simultaneously. Sans his bottle of tequila in hand, of course. My mouth felt dry and I swallowed as I allowed my eyes to drink him in. He had been "gifted" in many ways, and wasn't shy about letting us see what God had blessed him with.
"Grab a canvas and sit wherever you like."
I was taken out of my daze and brought back to reality. It was an invitation to fully submerge into the experience that was this liberating class, glorifying the black man for all that he is. After showing my ID to the event's host, I walked passed him to pick up a canvas. I had the choice between rough sketches of a butt, a penis, or the model's body from the neck down.
Of course I chose his penis.
The excitement of the women could be heard and felt through the clamoring of voices, girlish giggles, wild chatter, and warm bodies. Groups of women by the couple, by the fours, and by the dozens came out to paint well-endowed black men amid red cups and liquor. It was a convening of sisterhood and womanhood where women let their hair down, dipped their toes into creativity, and stared at eye candy shamelessly.
150 of us fill the room a night to celebrate everything from birthdays to a girl night's out. And often in the midst of sold out classes. With our paint, paint brushes, and canvases - we are able to take our time and explore the black man's body.
The sounds of R&B and trap music that played in the background didn't help cut some of the sexual tension in the least, as I tried to make sure I wasn't dancing on the line of objectification too much. I dipped my wet paintbrush into the brown paint on my table and allowed it to meet the soft cloth of my canvas, all the while doing my best to keep my gaze meeting his instead of falling below his waist.
Despite the fact that my brush was painting his tip...
Booze & Nudes/Instagramalexis.lindaikejisblog.com
The model moved every 10-15 minutes and gave the ladies (and the men) in attendance a show equipped with a toothy grin, body rolls, and wagging his penis like it was a tail. Due to the event's ever-growing social media presence, the model is expected to welcome photos and videos taken of him. He looked so fearless up there. Beautiful, full of joy. Carefree. It's a look that should adorn the features of more black men in this world. It suits them well.
It's sometimes so easy to get lost in the sauce about the inadequacies of the men in our community that I found it interesting how strongly I was reminded of everything I loved. My adoration for black men goes far beyond anything that they do for me sexually, encompassing so many facets and complexities. Cue that Angie Stone "Brotha" track again.
The class surmised with us taking turns capturing whatever photos and videos in compromising positions that we wished to take with the model, per his comfortability of course. Now fully clothed, the model asked if could add my completed artwork of his penis to the collection he had on the wall of his apartment. He showed me pictures of women before me who had painted him lining his wall and asked if I wanted a spot. I worked hard on mine.
I wasn't about to give it up.
All things considered, the class did not help with my desires at all and wine coupled with male nudity definitely had me hitting up bae immediately after to come through and chill. So that night, Booze & Nudes became the gift that kept me coming. Literally and figuratively.
Since its debut, the Booze and Nudes brand has been in high demand by many eager painters to visit cities across the nation. Jasmine and her team are working hard to bring the event to 18 cities this year including New Orleans, Brooklyn, Baltimore, Miami, Los Angeles, and Houston.
Be sure to grab your tickets(they will go fast!) and support this new artistic approach to capturing the black man's anatomy. In all its chocolate-hued glory. I highly recommend.
Originally published January 25, 2018
Malikka McDuffie is a journalist residing in sunny California. Malikka currently helps brands form meaningful digital connections with their audience as a social media manager. Stay socially connected with her via @malikkamichelle (IG and Twitter) or her blog, where she shares her love of music and random adventures in LA LA Land.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images