When Basma Hameed was just two years old, a horrific kitchen oil accident resulted in 3rd degree burns that covered 40% of her face.
That one tragic day changed Basma's life forever, causing pain, bullying, and torment in the years to come. While some would've viewed this as the end of life as they knew it, the dedication and perseverance of Basma said otherwise, and she quickly realized this incident could be a blessing in disguise.
This Iraq native hasn't had it easy and her struggles started off quite early in life. Months after the traumatic burn, Basma would soon begin a number of surgeries throughout her life, in which she now has undergone over 100 in total. With the severe burn deforming fractures of her facial features, Basma tried a number of things to gain her face back. However, no topical make-up was effective enough to make a difference.
If the burn incident wasn't traumatic enough, the reactions from her peers didn't make the experience any better, leaving Basma with little hope and fewer options.
"I did over 100 surgeries and I was still constantly bullied. At 16, I went to my plastic surgeon. He said I should take my money and go on a vacation, [and] that was the end of the road for me," she shared.
Somehow, Basma knew this wasn't the end of the road for her. Instead, it was actually the beginning of a new life for her, one with a newfound purpose.
After several surgeries and attempted augmentations in hopes of changing her appearance, Basma decided to permanently tattoo her eyebrows. Little did she know this one procedure would spark an idea for a new business venture that would help thousands of burn victims who experienced the same difficulties she had gone through.
"I was so happy [with the results of the permanent eyebrows] that I thought to myself — why not do the same procedure except use skin tone pigments on scar tissue to camouflage the discoloration?"
From there, Basma went to school for medical aesthetics, where she learned everything she needed to know about the skin industry. Soon after, she apprenticed with a permanent makeup artist where she would learn hands-on all the things needed for her new career.
"[While learning] I started working on my own face and after just a few treatments, I started to see a huge improvement. Then I started working on all types of birthmarks, surgical scars, areola reconstruction, and all kinds of skin discoloration and saw that it worked as well," Basma shared.
While at the time it was an unheard of procedure, causing many to be skeptical, Basma's dedication still brought her vision to life, not only for her, but for burn victims everywhere.
Now with over 15 years of serving her community internationally, Basma's skin restoration procedure continues to change the lives of thousands of people. With her unique technique, Basma is able to camouflage skin discoloration brought on by burns, medical conditions, and accidents. Basma is a healer, pioneer, and survivor who used her own pain to create an empire that caters to victims just like her.
When asked what she wants her story to represent when it's all said and done, her answer was simple:
"My story is a story about not giving up. I took a negative situation and turned it into a positive. This procedure has given me confidence and my story gave my clients hope. I love seeing my clients' transformation. Most of the time, the client would be shy and won't want to make eye contact during their first visit. By the 3rd visit, they walk into the clinic with so much confidence. It's so rewarding to be a part of their healing journey," Basma said.
"My story is a story about not giving up. I took a negative situation and turned it into a positive."
Basma now has offices in both Toronto and Beverly Hills and aims to continue her work as a skin pigmentation specialist. She also started a training academy to teach other technicians her unique procedure in hopes of changing lives worldwide.
For more information, visit her website at www.basmahameed.com and be sure to follow her @BasmaHameedClinic.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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