More Black Women Are Deciding To Freeze Their Eggs For The Same Reason As Angela Rye
The recent decade has been a progressive era for black girl magicians. Not only are we casting spells as we dazzle the world in the essence that is our magic from a physical standpoint, but we are also demystifying road blocks and glass ceilings at every turn.
On a daily basis, we witness female professionals of color slay their patriarchal nemesis with ease. But it seems our only kryptonite is our biological clocks. No matter how much we accomplish, we must succumb to the time limits and chronological deadlines set by our bodies. Especially for those of us who hope to be mothers.
But to that, more and more millennial women of color of today have begun to say, "Naw." Women are taking back control of their lives professionally, financially, and of course, that authority is lending itself to their reproductive lives as well. Recently, 38-year-old political analyst Angela Rye opened up about her decision to undergo the process of oocyte cryopreservation, most commonly called: egg freezing.
Our bodies seem to impose just as much pressure as society does when it comes to when and how we conceive. Rye told Refinery29 that she made the decision to freeze her eggs in January in attempt to protect her energy and her womb from the stress of an intense professional life:
"I froze my eggs in January, and because I have such a stressful life, I wanted to try to create a nurturing environment for eggs to grow."
We feel pressured by our loved ones and our bodies to have children within a timeline, despite the commitment we've made to our dreams and careers. By age 30, our egg count is reduced to less than half of the number that we have as teenagers making infertility more likely the older we get; women diagnosed with fibroids or endometriosis are burdened with an even shorter timeline.
Angela Rye is among the league of women sparking debate among black women about having options. She said that she decided to freeze her eggs after she learned that her egg count was low.
"I've never been governed by a biological clock. I still feel like whatever I decide to do with my body is between me and my maker. But I first looked into it when I was turning 35 because they say your egg count goes down around that age, so I looked into it as a just in case. And after they ran some tests, I learned my egg reserve number was low. That scared me! But it also wasn't an instant decision, because to be honest, the process is expensive. So I came back a few years later and this time, I went through the process and did some acupuncture and they were able to retrieve seven fully developed eggs — which isn't the 20-something they typically hope for. But I'm good with seven, because that's my favorite number, so it felt like it meant something. Now, I don't feel any pressure as far as work timelines or relationships...I can just focus on my purpose and know that I have that option there if I want it."
As women, we have options in our careers, lipstick colors, what we eat, and what clothes we choose to wear: but not when we choose to have a baby.
curlBOX founder and all-around boss woman Myleik Teele has always had a silver lining about becoming mother, despite the emphasis she placed on building a fruitful career. Now, the entrepreneur is a proud mother to a son named Noah. But when she was 35, she got her wakeup call that if she wanted to become a mother one day, she'd have to start looking into options to secure the future pregnancy she one day hoped to carry. Enter egg freezing:
"When I turned 35, I went to the doctor and she basically told me, 'Your eggs are dying, you'll never have a baby!' and I start freaking out. I went to the fertility doctor and I'm like I should freeze my eggs and they're like your AMH level is too low. I spent $12,000 dollars buying all of these shots and stuff, giving myself 5 shots a day, and the doctor's like, 'Basically, your fertility is low so you have a year to get pregnant.' I went through a really dark period because I just went and did all of this stuff, and only to find out that I may not have the opportunity."
Motivational speaker and entrepreneur Tai Beauchamp told xoNecole that her decision to freeze her eggs came during the height of her professional career after realizing she wanted insurance so that when she was ready to be pregnant, she could be, no matter her age:
"If I met a partner and I wanted to have a child next week and we decided to get pregnant, I don't think we'd have a problem getting pregnant. But I just did it because I want the insurance. It was just about options for me."
After a tumultuous hormone injection process, Beauchamp had successfully completed the egg freezing procedure. Beauchamp conquered her kryptonite and it is a decision that she doesn't regret. Nowadays, she does her best to spread the wealth she's gained by sharing her experience in a community where fertility isn't often a topic of discussion:
"There have been comments made about how fertile black women are, but simultaneously we're not having open conversations about fibroids, we're not having open conversations about endometriosis, we're just beginning to speak more now with more than 50% of the people being in college or graduating college being African-American women, that our partner and dating pool is changing. But if we start to think about investing in relationships in a different way earlier and sooner, the dynamics would shift too."
Beauchamp and Rye's stories are rarities, often unattainable by many women of color. In the past, egg freezing wasn't an option for black women due to the price point: a single phase can cost $5,000 or more. The increased success and shift of black female professionals on the economic landscape has made the procedure more accessible, but not accessible enough.
Rye and Beauchamp agree that it's important to normalize the egg freezing process and hope that opening up about their experiences will spark conversation and incite more health insurance companies to cover the procedure. Rye said that she hopes that openly discussing her own procedure will inspire other black women to explore their options:
"Well, the thing is, it's so expensive, so from an economic standpoint, it can be cost-prohibitive. So it's a conversation we're afraid to even have. But I feel like we have to if we ever want this process to feel more normal and more attainable. My manager actually encouraged me to document my whole process in case one day I want to share it with the world and show other Black women what it's really like."
Innovations in medicine and technology like egg freezing have allowed professional black women to unapologetically gain control of their personal, professional, reproductive goals. Rye is proof that being a millenial woman is lit, we really can have it all.
Read her full feature with Refinery29 by clicking here.
Featured image by Scott Dudelson/Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Stress Awareness Month: Sneaky Workplace Triggers Affecting Black Women, And How To Cope
We all know about the major stress triggers of everyday life, from relationship woes to monthly bills to unexpected emergencies, but there are small, subtle triggers that impact Black women in a big way, especially when it comes to work. It’s good to be aware of these sneaky stressors in order to maximize your day and find ways to incorporate solutions into your self-care routines.
Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
valentinrussanov/Getty Images
How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
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Featured image by Charday Penn/Getty Images