7 Erogenous Zones You and Your Partner Should Explore During Sex
In the early days of becoming acquainted with my body, I focused my attention primarily on my clitoris. I remember being young and curious and wondering why it was touches to that area left me wrought with spasms nothing short of euphoric. That bundle of nerves is responsible for over 7,000 nerve endings and because of its high nerve concentration, it can be easy to fixate one's attention on that part of the body, but other parts of the body shouldn't go overlooked.
Involving others to indulge in and engage with my body led me to exploring other erogenous zones of my body, parts of me that felt dormant until awakened by the tender love and care of a beau. The touch from a lover can ignite a trail of fire in parts of your body you didn't know desired that kind of feeling. Tapping into the pleasure principles of erogenous zones leads to optimal arousal during foreplay, which in turn leads to a heightened sexual experience.
Read on for examples of erogenous parts of the body you and your partner should explore during sex:
THE LIPS
“A good kisser really turns me on. I like it when they know how to kiss me just softly enough. I like sucking on one another's lips and then licking one another's lips. No tongue. Tease me with it." - Jean
The mouth is actually a very sensitive part of the body, which is why kissing can sometimes feel so damn good whenever we engage in the act with someone else. Increase how intensely you feel the sensation there by alternating in speed and depth of how you kiss your mouth. Go from soft and sensual to deep and passionate, tender and brief to purposeful with plenty of tongue.
THE NIPPLES - WOMEN
“I love it when my girlfriend takes one of her tits and puts it in my mouth and pushes my head against her while I suck on her nipple. I can hear her moans around me and feel it through her body while I'm taking her. It's the sexiest thing and I get super turned on." - Kathy
Breasts aren't just for grabbing – suck the tit, tantalize the tit. Caressing the breasts does create pleasure throughout the body, but it's nothing like having the attention front and center on the nipple. They are a vessel of sensitivity and deserve love and affection. Incorporate them during foreplay by having your lover suck on them, flicking them with his/her tongue, and if you're a little daring, have them nibble on it a bit. The amount of pressure you enjoy varies from person to person, but the reality is the same, playing with your nipples is an instant panty-soaker.
“For me, there's nothing like getting head from my guy while he touches my nipples at the same time. It's all I need to get hot." – Elle
MEN, TOO
“I like a lot of things during foreplay. I like positions that facilitate mutual oral like 69 or on our sides. What I really, really like is my nipples being sucked by the firm lips of a woman." - Matthew
Men can enjoy receiving attention on their nipples too. As mentioned above, nipples are a very sensitive part of the human body, but because they are sexualized more so on women due to our breasts, people sometimes overlook the fact that men have nipples with pleasure-receptive nerve endings too. Trace gentle circles around his nipples with your fingers or nails to tease him. Use your mouth to outline his nipple with your tongue, practice flicking against it, bringing it into your mouth to suck briefly, and then giving a little bite. He'll hiss in delicious, agonizing anticipation.
THE NAPE OF THE NECK
“I like biting, compliments of how I'm such a good girl, having my hair pulled, being made to beg for it, and his hand wrapped around my neck. Yes. Take it." – Leslie
I remember being cuddled once by my long distance ex. We were in the spoon position and he suddenly started to kiss the nape of my neck. I was surprised at the way my thighs rubbed together and the sensation it sent down my spine that made me writhe against him even though he was barely touching me at all. I was a waterfall that night and it was because the nape of your neck is a center of nerve endings. Have your lover kiss, caress, nibble, and maybe even breathe languidly against that area and watch how positively your body responds to just that touch.
Men are also very sensitive in the neck area, sometimes even more than women might be. Kiss or lick his neck by gliding your tongue all over the side of his neck as a means to stimulate him. Drive him even wilder by sucking on his neck. Purse your lips against a spot there and go as crazy as you want with how deeply you suck, as long as you aren't concerned about leaving a mark. My personal favorite is a deep bite against a man's neck or shoulder blade.
THE INNER THIGH
“I like it when she's moving down my body to give me a blowjob and I get the sensation of her hair against my skin as she moves. I feel this intense anticipation because I know exactly where she's going and her hair acts as a tease." - Darryl
The inner thigh is an area of the body super packed with sensitive nerve endings as well. However, in order to really be affected, it's an erogenous zone that might require a little more pressure than others. Have your partner nibble, kiss, or lick the insides of your thighs. Alternate between hot and cool and add ice cubes to the mix. Have your partner trace a line along your skin with the ice and then blow behind it with their breath. The sensation plus the anticipation of your partner being so close to your center but not touching you there will drive you absolutely crazy.
THE PERINEUM
“I was on my knees the other day and he was in a chair. I was supposed to be paying attention to his balls, but I went a little lower this time, and watched him as he enjoyed the pleasure I gave him by licking that area. It really turned me on and I don't think he had any idea that that was there, wanting to be played with." - Amanda
The perineum is an area of the man's body that is highly sensitive to touch and can actually be another way to increase the intensity of his orgasm if done correctly. The perineum is the patch of skin between the balls and anus and can be most easily accessed while in the missionary position. When you see him about to orgasm, reach down between his legs and press your knuckle against that spot. It's also possible to stimulate that spot during other points of intercourse, like during foreplay while you're going down on him. Open up his senses by showing the extent of how sensitive that erogenous zone of his is.
THE EARS -- TALK DIRTY
“It's hard to find a woman who knows how to describe her sexuality in depth so I really love it when a woman can talk dirty to me. The nastier, the better." - Shawn
Ears are incredibly sensitive and are responsible for your auditory senses which in turn send signals of pleasure to your brain, heightening your experience. Trace the outside of his or her ear with your tongue or finger. Fuel desire and arousal even further by keeping your mouth close to their ear as you moan or breathe. Add dirty talk while you're there to intensify the moment even further. Watch and feel the way your body pulsates in response.
“I love it when he comes up behind me to nibble on my ear, especially when I least expect it. And then when he runs a hand up along my body to cup my breast? It is on!" - Dani
What are your favorite erogenous zones on your body? What are some of your favorite zones to explore on your partner's body? Share with us below.
- Erogenous Zones: Everything You Want to Know | Greatist ›
- The lesser known erogenous zones - and how to find them | The ... ›
- 9 Hottest Erogenous Zones for Women (Including Ones You're Not ... ›
- Women's Erogenous Zones, Ranked By Science | Time ›
- erogenous zones - Dictionary definition of erogenous zones ... ›
- Erogenous zone definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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