7 Things Successful Women Do More Of On The Weekends
Friday is one of the most anticipated days of the week and I'm sure you can guess why. For some people, it's payday, the last work day of the week, and also the beginning of a weekend filled with mimosas, brunch dates, sleeping in late, and bar-hopping. While many of us may want to hit the snooze button on a Saturday, the success that you may be wishing for and the personal goals that you want to accomplish, is probably interrupted by your personal weekend choices.
I'm sure we all know of that one person that is the epitome of success and we wonder how we can get on their level. I follow a few successful entrepreneurs on Instagram and I sometimes wonder how they have the time to nurture relationships, work out, be moms, take classes, slay all day, and run their businesses. The main thing that separates successful people like CurlBox CEO Myliek Teele, Issa Rae, Karen Civil, and health coach Massy Arias from the others is their attitude on life, and what they do with their time in the office and outside of the office.
Here are the top things that successful people do on the weekend that you should be doing:
1. They Don't Sleep In
Sometimes it seems like there are not enough hours in the day and successful people understand this so they don't sleep their mornings away. For 15 years, Starbucks President Michelle Gaas set her alarm for 4:30 a.m. to go running. Square CEO Jack Dorsey once revealed that he wakes up at 5:30 am to meditate and go for a six-mile jog. CEO of CurlBox Myleik Teele wakes up early on the weekend as well.
In an interview with Think and Grow Chick, Myleik said, "I wake up early and I have tons of friends that all sleep in. I wake up early, even on the weekends. I tell all of the girls that I mentor that 'for all of the time you're taking, your competition is four hours ahead of you, six hours ahead, however many hours ahead of you.' That's important and real. So if you think that sleeping in has no effect on your life, then you have lost already. For every hour that you give to your competition either by not reading, not researching, not networking, not connecting, not attempting to learn, it's just every place that you're putting yourself behind at."
What does this tell you? Getting up early on the weekends and using every hour of the day wisely allows you to allocate more time towards your day and teaches you discipline.
2. They Work Out
Successful people know the advantages of having an active mind and body, even on the weekends. If you follow Angela Simmons, you know that she is an active gym-goer and kickboxing fanatic. In an interview with xoNecole a few years ago, she admitted, "I try to work out everyday. I usually box or do spin classes. On my days off, I'll run stairs or run on the treadmill."
Meanwhile, in an Entrepreneur article titled, "Why Exercising Is A Higher Priority Than My Business," Josh Stiemle stresses the important of exercise and making it a priority:
If exercise stops, then my health goes downhill. With the loss of physical health, my productivity at work goes down. I become depressed. I lose motivation to do the things that makes my business successful. I've learned firsthand that excellence in one area of my life promotes excellence in all other areas of my life. Exercise is the easiest area of my life to control. It's easy to measure. Either I get it in, or I don't. When I do, it lifts up all other areas of my life, including my business.
3. They Make Time For Family And Friends
Successful people understand the importance of building and sustaining relationships, especially with family and friends. When you spend time with your loved ones, it can relax your mind, and it can help you maintain the relationships with people that mean the most to you.
In a 2014 study, it was found that people are naturally happier on the weekends because of what they do during their time. Normally on the weekends, people are off of work and have time to do more things outside of work that make them happy - most of which is spending time with family and friends. The amount of time that people spend with loved ones was shown to double on the weekends, and for those people, their emotional well-being tends to increase. Social interactions with others is good for the soul, and increases positive vibes. A lack of social interaction can increase negative vibes.
Buzz Marketing Group CEO Tina Wells believes in the power of social interaction with family and friends. Wells has been a CEO since the age of 16 so being extremely busy is normal for her. Although she is very busy, Wells tries her best to maintain an effective work and life balance. In an interview, Wells said, "I have a very big family (five siblings, 60+ cousins…) and spending time with them is very important to me. The concerts, recitals, graduations, impromptu card games…all of these moments are important to me, and there's no business success that can replace these moments."
4. They Indulge In Hobbies And Take Vacations
Successful people understand the benefits of engaging in activities that they enjoy. Whether that is painting, traveling, going to the movie theater, or going swimming, they make time to do the things that they love and this prevents them from getting burned out from work. In an interview, Marissa Mayer, President and CEO of Yahoo!, said, "I've always loved baking. I think it's because I'm very scientific. The best cooks are chemists... I'm a businesswoman first and foremost [but] my hobbies actually make me better at work. They help me come up with new and innovative ways of looking at things."
Successful people also take vacations. A quick getaway and change of environment is necessary to regroup every now and then.
Myliek Teele reveals in her My Taught You journal:
"In 2014, I decided to take as many vacations and breaks as I wanted. My year began with a trip to Savannah, GA to take a cooking class (and it was so much FUN) and walk around town. I went to Paris and Amsterdam TWICE! I absolutely love Cancun, Mexico, so I went there three times and spent my birthday in Puerto Vallarta. I decided to do that because, for years and years, there were so many things that took priority in my life. 2014 was the year of the BREAK, so I was really excited to enter 2015 well-rested and fired up!"
5. They Clean Up And Declutter
A clean house equals a clean mind. Messes take up mental space and provoke negative emotions. Removing dust, dirt, and clutter from your environment provides you with a cleaner, more comfortable atmosphere so you can feel happier and more relaxed. And when you are happier and more relaxed, you are more productive.
Most people use the weekend to catch up on chores, however, cleaning during the week can free up your schedule. Create a weekly schedule and clean during the week. Whether that is cleaning the bathroom on Tuesdays, and dusting the furniture on Wednesdays, dedicating your cleaning days to the week will give you the weekend that you need and deserve.
6. They Volunteer Their Time And Give Back
In Tim Corley's book Wealthy Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals, he found that 73% of wealthy people volunteer for five or more hours per month. Giving back relieves stress and it keeps you focused, not to mention paying it forward always brings more opportunities and blessings. Some of those blessing can include feeling healthier and being able to develop new skills, as mentioned in a recent Forbesarticle.
Also, volunteering can improve your well-being and can make you an overall better person. Michelle Obama spoke of the importance of volunteering and giving back by saying, "And in my own life, in my own small way, I've tried to give back to this country that has given me so much. That's why I left a job at a law firm for a career in public service, working to empower young people to volunteer in their communities. Because I believe that each of us--no matter what our age or background or walk of life--each of us has something to contribute to the life of this nation."
Weekends are a great time to volunteer in your local community, network, and meet other people. At many volunteer events, it is not abnormal to find business leaders, prospective customers, and other important leaders in your community. In a study, fifty-seven percent of people that volunteer their time admitted that they often meet business leaders and connect with future customers through volunteering.
7. They Relax And Reflect
Ever since I was a little girl, I always told myself that I would dedicate at least 30 minutes to myself. Being a girly girl that is obsessed with bubble baths, my "me" time was spent while soaking in bubbles. I personally see the value of dedicating 30 minutes to yourself every single day, especially on the weekends. Many times, we are so caught up in our careers, other people, and the world that we don't stop to relax and truly reflect. During my 30-minute bath time, I like to relax my mind and just think about ME and what I have going on. Sometimes I may listen to music during this time, but I find it more effective to listen to my own thoughts. During this time of relaxation and reflection, it is also the perfect moment to think about your week ahead, what goals you want to accomplish, and how you can be more productive.
Aristotle said it best, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit."
Be consistent, and follow the rules above to be on the path to your destined success. There are countless of successful people that do the exact things above so incorporating some of these strategies in your weekend can improve your abilities, your mindset, expand your network, and increase your success in and out of the workplace.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How Successful Women Spend Their Weekends
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” At close to two decades of working with married couples, I agree with this man 1000 percent. It’s actually the main motivation for why I once penned, “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?” because, the reality is, if you’re not friends with the person who you vowed to share every aspect of your life with, for the rest of your life, it’s going to be very difficult (if not damn near impossible) to honor that level of commitment. Without question, I will now and forever die on the hill that if you like your partner, you can make it through the not-so-in-love-right-now moments. Vice versa? Eh…not so much.
A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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Featured image by jose carlos cerdeno martinez/Getty Images