5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Reinvent Yourself
It's safe to say the New Year is the self-proclaimed time to do a complete 180 in every area of our lives. At the same time, it's so easy to get caught up with wanting to reinvent our lives and do said complete 180 between 11:59 on December 31st and 12:01 on January 1. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we feel like we have to give in to the pressure of becoming a different person when the New Year gets here?
While I'm a lover of all things new, all things resolutions, and all things vision board parties at the top of the year, before we get into it all, ask yourself these questions:
What Do I Love About Myself?
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Trust me, I don't think I'm close to perfect. Not. Even. Close. But there are things about myself that I actually want to take into the new year. While there are changes I would like to make, I don't think I necessarily need to do a complete turnaround because there are things that are the core of who I am that I don't want to change.
Evolve? Yes. But not completely change for the sake of having something to cross off in the new year.
I think before we get into the reinvention of ourselves, we have to be careful not to let the things we love about ourselves be found guilty by association and fall by the wayside. In the middle of this process of becoming a completely new you, be sure to maintain those positives. Cause you're the bomb diggity baby girl.
Who Am I Doing It For?
I was listening to this church message recently and the speaker was discussing how sometimes we have faith for God to do things in our lives because we subconsciously want to prove other people wrong. For example, to show the person who dumped us that it was their loss, or to prove to someone we're dating that we really are good enough. Even though I can't deny I love the feeling of having someone else realize how dope I am (or like to think I am), whether they've treated me amazingly or the opposite, I can't make my whole life about how they see me; self-reinventions included.
It really boils down to making sure that this reinvention and new lease on life is truly about you. Because you deserve to have what you feel is your best self, instead of spending life's most precious moments attempting to live up to what you want others to think about you.
What Do I Want To Change?
GiphyIf we're honest with ourselves, there are probably a lot of things we can do better. From not procrastinating (me!) to learning how to say no (also me) and just taking better care of ourselves from the inside out, it's no secret that very few of us, if any, are completely happy with every detail that encompasses who we are. If for you, the new year is the best time to take on these challenging changes, I would suggest seriously taking time to think about what it is you want to change and why.
All of us are human so it might be easy to lose count of everything we aren't necessarily happy with. But prioritizing the things you want to change and knocking them out one at a time could be the definite key for you to reinvent yourself one change at a time, otherwise you may be feeling overwhelmed about having to do it all at once.
Who’s In My Circle?
A lot of times, reinventing ourselves can impact the people around us just as much as it does our actual selves. Before you begin this journey, you should definitely do an evaluation of who's on your side. Who has been a ride or die friend for you through thick and thin, in the toughest moments? Those are the people you can count on to support your desire to become a better version of yourself. And for the ones who haven't, you don't necessarily have to cut them off. You just might have to redefine the roles they play in your life. It's not about thinking that you're better than them or that you're a new person and no longer have the time, it's about maintaining the part of you that you will work so hard to be, and not letting anyone or anything get in the way.
What Do I Really Want…Periodt?
When you think about what 2019 will bring, what do you hope to see? What is it that will make you happy? There's a quote that says, "Whatever makes you happy, do that." When you reinvent yourself, upgrade yourself, or whatever you want to call it, I hope one of the things you consider is your true desires and wants. I'm in no way saying to be selfish, I'm just saying to think about yourself as much as you might have thought about pleasing others in the past for whatever reason.
We can't take any positivity for granted, especially when it comes to the vibes that surround becoming a new and better us.
But if our actual desires and dreams that cause us to take on this journey of reinvention is forgotten, then what was it all for?
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Tyler James Williams Explains Why His And Quinta Brunson 'Abbott Elementary' Characters Should Remain Friends
While Abbott Elementary fans are hoping that Janine and Gregory end up together, the show’s star has another take. Tyler James Williams plays Gregory on the Emmy award-winning sitcom, and he recently stopped by The Jennifer Hudson Show to share his point of view on his storyline with Janine, which Quinta Brunson plays.
“I hate to say it. I know that everybody’s always mad at me for this. I don’t necessarily want to see them together,” he revealed. “It’s partially an actor’s choice, but also somebody who, like, I read a lot of scripts all the time. I watch a lot of TV, a lot of film. I don’t think that we see displays of platonic love between two people often. I think it’s really easy to go right to they have feelings for each other, therefore they should be together. I like this dynamic of exploring withholding that and just actively loving each other where they are. That I like to see more.”
If you recall, they were co-workers who became friends but were secretly crushing on each other. They’ve had many awkward run-ins during and after school, like the unforgettable club scene where they were dancing nervously with each other in season one, and in season two, they finally kiss. However, it only made things even more awkward, and they decided to just be friends. Tyler further explained why he thinks it’s important to showcase that type of relationship on screen.
“I think it’s time for that. I think TV allows people to see things that could be their lives for the first time, and I think seeing a healthy friendship that is deeply caring about one another in a work atmosphere needs to be shown more than the relationship,” he concluded.
Abbott Elementary comes on every Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST on ABC.
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