The way we begin our day sets the tone for how we feel about our day. And for a lot of women, our beauty routines are how we get into formation, and how we ultimately equip ourselves to slay the day ahead.
As a woman about her business, I find myself constantly drawing inspiration from the processes of other like-minded phenomenal women who are doing the damn thing in their work lives and taking impressive steps in their career journeys.
Whether she's a marketing coordinator at Squarespace, the founder of her own TRIBE, or the engineer coding for herself, a boss babe is never a boss without the tools that help make her hone in on that feeling of regality and success. Read on to learn the beauty essentials of some of our favorite thriving girl bosses on the rise.
Cheyenne Adler
Instagram:@adamantlyadler
Location: New York, NY
Occupation: Marketing Coordinator at Squarespace
Vitruvi Wake Aromatherapy Oil
“I've always been fascinated by aromatherapy, so I picked this up and I honestly can't start a day without it. A little Wake oil behind the ears in the morning, and I'm ready to tackle anything I've got on my plate - work, photoshoots, events, anything. Not only do you feel rejuvenated, but the scent is subtle enough that it pairs nicely with any perfume, so you smell incredible too."
Boy Brow by Glossier
“You know that saying, 'Don't let anyone with bad brows tell you sh*t about life?' Yeah, well I took that to heart! I never want to be the girl with bad brows! My brows are super full (borderline bushy) and have a mind of their own so I even if I'm not wearing any makeup, a nice swipe or two of Boy Brow always keeps them in shape while I'm sprinting around the office or around the city."
Fenty Beauty Killawat Highlighter in Girl Next Door
“Our girl, Rihanna really does know how to make a girl GLOW. I'm not one to wear a lot of make up on the day to day so I picked up the Girl Next Door/Chic Phreak palette to add a healthy, natural glow to my cheeks. When I wear it, it's a nice little essence of RihRih motivating me to be my best and baddest self."
A.N Other WD/18
“WD/18 is a new fragrance I discovered, and I'm absolutely obsessed. It kind of smells like Le Labo's notorious Santal scent, but half the price -- so you can see why I love it! I believe smelling good really gives a woman a little extra confidence, commanding attention, so you can definitely catch me leaning in a little more closely in meetings knowing I'm smelling bomb af."
Care/Of Monthly Subscription
“I have pretty hectic days Monday – Friday, so sometimes I'm not the best about managing a well-balanced diet filled with all the nutrients and the healthy good stuff. I know, I know, so bad and I've got to be better, but until I slow down, it's nice to have a reminder every day to at least take my vitamins. Care/Of is awesome because it's 100% customized from the mix of vitamins catered to your targeted needs and they have your name on the bags - what boss woman doesn't like seeing her name on something?"
Maura Chanz
Instagram:@maurachanz
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Occupation: Assistant, Mara Brock Akil – CEO of Glitter + Hustle – Founder of You Need Tribe
Fenty Beauty Pro Filt'r Soft Matte Longwear Foundation in 390
“Being a boss is about working smarter not harder. Fenty Foundation allows me to do this because it gives me a flawless look with one product. This foundation allows me a lightweight full coverage that keeps me looking flawless when myself nor my day are anything but."
MAC Ruby Woo Lipstick
“A boss asserts her power. For me, this can be done with something as simple as a boom on the lip. Red lipstick, specifically Ruby Woo, has always been a staple and keeps me feeling like I'm kicking ass and taking names."
Big Hoop Earrings
“In addition to working smarter and asserting my power, I always need something that speaks to my fun and eccentric nature. Hoop earrings are classic (to me) and always give me an edge to slay my day. I can always re-up at my local beauty store when necessary (I've picked some up en route places before)."
Amber Janae
Instagram:@ajscribes
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Occupation: Founder & Editor-in-Chief of THE CORE Magazine
Juicy Couture Eau de Parfum Spray & Bonbon by Viktor and Rolf
“Smelling good is priority on my list. I have two fragrances I love. Juicy Couture's first perfume ever, which I've been wearing since I was about 17. Also, Bonbon by Viktor and Rolf. A salesman suckered me on a trip to NY and I've been hooked since. Both fragrances are to die for. I was always taught that a woman should have a signature scent, which is why smelling good id something I always take pride in."
Rose Quartz
“I wear a rose quartz pendant around my neck daily or I'll carry one of my smaller rose quartz crystals in my pocket or purse. Rose quartz are symbolically known as the 'Love stone.' I like to wear it around my neck, close to my heart so that, that chakra remains opened and balanced. I also like it near as I reminder that I am love and am always covered in it."
Matcha Green Tea and Activated Charcoal Mask
“Great skin would have to be next. I love makeup, but it's so important for my skin to be clear and glowing underneath it all. My latest go-to product is the Matcha Green Tea and Activated Charcoal Mask by Beija Flor Naturals. Absolutely everything I never knew I needed. Its ingredients are all natural and literally leaves my skin feeling and looking radiant."
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Dara Oke
Instagram:@daraoke_
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
Occupation: Entrepreneur, Software Developer + Designer
The True Cream Moisturizing Bomb by BELIF
“I have dry skin, as in - the absolute driest. Finding a facial moisturizer that understood me has been nothing short of a lifelong journey, this completely improved my skincare routine. Washing and moisturizing my face is now my favorite part of waking up and getting my mornings started."
Nars Velvet Matte Skin Tint + Lancome Teint Idole Ultra Foundation
“I was a drugstore foundation girl for a really long time (still swear by Maybelline Fit Me), but then I found foundations I loved enough to shell out the cash for. I rotate between my Nars and Lancome, neither of which are too heavy, but give me the flawless coverage and confidence to conquer my day."
NYX Lingerie Liquid Lipstick
“Working in tech, spending most of my days between meetings and offices always made picking my daily lip color a chore - balancing between not too bold, but still present. I love the muted colors, all day wear, and texture (probably the smoothest liquid lipstick I've tried) of these lipsticks. Plus, they're just a few dollars each. I can 100% guarantee that you'd catch me wearing this on any day."
David Yurman Châtelaine Pearl Earrings
“I was gifted a pair of these, and to this day they are the only earrings I haven't misplaced (likely because I rarely take them off, except sleep/shower). I never saw myself as a pearl person, nor had I ever purchased designer earrings, but these have become the most consistent part of my wardrobe, and make every outfit feel just a little bit elegant."
Chan-Lo
Instagram:@callherchanlo / @cnkdaily
Location: Dallas, TX
Occupation: Chief of Sneaker Chic at CNKDaily.com
Rosebud Salve by Rosebud Perfume Co.
“For me, hydrated lips are essential. If you're guilty of not drinking enough water (raises hand), you need a good lip balm to keep your lips hydrated, especially in extreme climates. I live for Rosebud Salve by Rosebud Perfume Co. It's about $6.00 and one pot last me about two months."
Neutrogena Oil-Free Face Moisturizer with SPF 35
“I live in Texas so, you never know what you're going to get as far as weather goes. So, I try to make sure to protect my skin as much as possible. A good face moisturizer with SPF is always the way to go for me personally. I've been using this Neutrogena option since college (when I was battling dry skin in the frozen Tundra of Minneapolis) and I swear by it. Plus, I can always find it for under $10, which makes me super happy."
Oh My How High! Lengthening Mascara by Butter London
“I don't do a full face of make-up every day. It's just too time consuming and I like to give my face a chance to breathe but, after throwing on some lip balm and combing out my eyebrows I usually put on some mascara before dashing out of the house. I received this mascara by Butter London in a gift bag and I haven't used anything else since. It doesn't flake, it's easy to remove, and it definitely gives your lashes a huge POP."
Palmer's Olive Oil Formula Deep Conditioner
“Deep conditioning my hair once a week has made it more manageable and it's easy to do. On Sundays, I usually wash with a good cleansing shampoo and add this deep conditioner post-wash. I usually put on a plastic cap and let it sit while I prep posts or plan social media for the week."
Love Your Bare Face Hydrating Cleansing Oil
“For those boss babes who hate how time consuming some face cleanse regimens are, this has been a game changer for me personally. The lightweight oil melts away a full face of makeup or the dirt from the day easily without stripping your skin. Plus, the oil adds moisture to your skin. I usually will put this on my face before I hit the shower, rinse off, and I'm good to go."
What are some of the go-to essentials you rely on to help you feel like a boss?
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Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images
