Why Tipping Your Hair Stylist Should Be A Part Of Your Budget
I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I have a hard time parting with that extra paper after already dishing out $100+ for a hair service, especially if I came in thinking it was going to be one price and then after adding separate shampoo, deep conditioning, and steaming services, it ends up being $50 more.
Oh, the price of beauty.
But, for the most part, I always tip. Maybe it's the former server in me that knows that when you give quality service you hope that it'll be rewarded with an extra tip, because all servers know that if you rely on base pay alone you might as well pick a box to live in on the street. Or maybe as a freelancer, I know that what people think you make is just a fairytale and fallacy once you take out double taxes (the blessing of being your own boss), benefits, and any other expenses that sometimes make you second-guess why you chose an entrepreneurial route to begin with. (Then you remember that it does have its perks!)
In short, I'm compassionate towards my fellow boss chicks and chicos. If the service is of good quality and I don't walk out with a burning scalp or missing edges, I'm all for telling them a job well done for fixing my locs into a fleeky style that will have me taking 100 selfies just to post one for the 'Gram. Ya'll know how it is!
But the truth is not everybody tips for talent, whether it's due to a lack of knowledge of why they should or misunderstanding of what they're paying for, or because they're just too cheap to want to add extra dollars to their service.
Even I admit to wondering if stylists just pocket the extra profit and walk away with more than I make in a day, so to address those burning questions, I chatted with a few stylists—both in professional salons and those who work from home—to get the real deal on why, though not required, it's common courtesy to tip.
You Get What You Pay For
I've been to a number of different salons, and I'll be first to say that not every stylist is made equal! Not to mention that everyone uses different products that can make or break (literally) the health of your hair, so ideally you want a stylist who is going to use the best products for the lowest price right? One stylist says that's exactly why they expect a tip.
“[Most times] you're really not paying top dollar to get your hair done, but [some of us] are spending top dollar on our products. If you were to look online and look at other places you'll see that you're not really spending much for a salon who specializes in top dollar products—not just from a general “Asian" store. And also because you're getting good service. When you're out in any other setting and you're getting good service, you're willing to tip because you're paying for the service."
It Lets Them Know You Value Them
They say what you spend your money on is a reflection of what you value, so when I tip it's my way of giving a figurative pat on the back for a job well done. To a stylist it shows that you appreciate them and that you find their service to be of good quality.
“I don't require a tip, but it is indeed greatly appreciated among stylists. It shows that the client is satisfied with the service and it really makes my day to know they care. Some can't afford to tip, and that's okay. If you can't tip monetary wise you can definitely show a tip in return visits, referrals, and reviews."
Your Tip Isn't Pocket Change, It's Their Survival
Here's where I was most confused, as I never thought of my stylist as an entrepreneur, especially if they worked out of a salon. Nor did I realize how much comes out of their own pockets just to keep their rent paid and the lights on. While you will have stylists who are charging an arm and a leg and probably are eating well off of their hustle, that's not the story for the average hairdresser.
“As a booth renter you have to buy everything, nobody buys your products. You're almost coming under all the time, it's like you never equal out to what you are actually spending, but when I came into the hair care field only because I came from being paid hourly, I'm determined not to make less hourly than what I was making on a regular job. You do come into a salon, too, that has base prices as well. So you are following a base price and based on those prices they may charge more, but for the most part, to me, as long as I've been in the industry, if you are one who buys good products you're never going to come out on top. Maybe some styles [like braiding] would probably get more."
Oh, and let's not forget that the cost of just, well, living.
“Stylists are commission-based; it's just like being a waitress except we don't have base pay to fall back on, so everything counts. Though our services are tax free, our income is literally based off of our hustle. How long are you willing to be at a shop without clients just to catch walk-ins? Or how many salons and beauty supply stores are you willing to go to giving out [promotional] cards. It's not like a job where you can punch the clock and see coins, we have to “punch" our promotions, referrals, feet and mouths to see possible coins."“We pay our own healthcare because again we're basically self-employed. As stylists our whole bodies are involved with our job, so half the time if you have good insurance you can take care of yourself, but if not you have to pay right out to go to a doctor."
There May Be A Return On Your Investment
Sometimes your stylist will let you know in advance when they're running a special or may even slip in a service that they would normally charge for just because they equally value you as a paying customer.
Building a good report with your stylist may lead to opportunities to receive your tip back through a discount or special promotion.
Oh, and in case you're wondering most stylists consider 15% - 20% a good tip (but of course they won't object if you decide to give more!)
Featured image by Guilherme Petri on Unsplash
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- Here's Exactly How Much You Should Tip at the Hair Salon ›
- So, How Much Should You Tip Your Hairdresser? ›
- How Much to Tip at the Hair Salon: Your Ultimate Guide | Glamour ›
- Tipping 101: How to properly tip at your salon - AOL Lifestyle ›
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images