10 Ways To Fall In Love With Valentine’s Day If You’re Single
It never fails. Every year, I personally know women who claim that they couldn't care less about Valentine's Day. But then, right around the day before it, they are either complaining about not having a date or they're offering up some "thou doth protest too much" speech about how it's a commercialized holiday that isn't worth the hype.
Me? I promise you I can't tell you the last time I was in a relationship or went out on Valentine's Day. As a marriage life coach, I actually dig the background story about St. Valentine being a man who was martyred for marrying couples when it was against the law (it's kind of a long story but you can read more about it here). And as far as not getting any roses or candy, honestly, I'm cool.
I think it's because I have found ways to celebrate the love I have for myself — not just on February 14 but all year long. After all, Buddha was so on point when he said, "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Indeed I do. You do too.
So whether Valentine's Day has a tendency to send you into a space of mild hysteria or you try your best to not give it any energy at all, I've got a different recommended approach. See it as an opportunity to love on yourself in an extra special way by doing one or all 10 of the following suggestions. That way, should someone special come along in the future, he'll just be joining in on the love party that you've already been throwing for yourself — all along!
10 Ways To Celebrate Valentine's Day If You're Single
1.Have Your Own Spa Day
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Whether you decide to take a personal day on Valentine's Day or you'd prefer to wait until the following weekend rolls around, you can never go wrong with treating yourself to a spa day. If money is tight, hop onto sites like Groupon and RetailMeNot for promo codes that can earn you some pretty impressive discounts.
By the way, did you know there are even some spas/resorts that have earned the reputation for especially catering to singles? Some of them include The Broadmoor at Colorado Springs (Colorado Springs, CO), The Ballantyne Hotel & Lodge (Charlotte, NC) and The Mirror Lake Inn Resort Spa (Lake Placid, NY).
2.Do A “Secret Cupid” Gift Exchange With Your Girlfriends
Who said that Secret Santa is the only one who pops up with random anonymous presents? Add your own spin to it by convincing some of your girlfriends to give out some Secret Cupid gifts instead. Put a price cap of no more than $20-25 and give the gift-giving a theme like "How to Get Over Your Ex" or "Something to Make You Feel Sexy". It's super thoughtful and can also be a lot of fun too!
3.Go On A Bestie Date With A Guy Friend
Let's see how much of a throwback R&B fan you are. Although most people think of "Just Got Paid" when they think of Johnny Kemp, one of my favorite songs was "One Thing Led to Another". A part of the hook says, "The best of friends can be lovers after all."
I ain't tryin' to get nothin' started but if you and your male bestie are both single this year, you're probably gonna be on the phone most of the night anyway. Why not take each other out to dinner instead? At the very least, it'll be a nice distraction. At the most, the ambiance and candlelight just might cause the two of you to see things…umm…differently.
4.Buy Yourself Some New Lingerie
OK, so guess how often you should replace your bras and panties. You ready? Every six months! Be honest, you know you've got some underwear that has been with you for at least a couple of years at this point. Even if you don't exactly have a man to show off a new teddy for, that doesn't mean you shouldn't adorn yourself with some new pieces.
Victoria's Secret is cool but honestly, some of the best lines are Black-owned. Nubian Skin, Being U, Beautifully Undressed, Suzy Black Lingerie and dbleudazzled all have items that are super sexy for every skin tone.
5.Make Your Own Wine Or Champagne
If every Valentine's Day, all you can think about is taking a few shots and going to sleep, at least make it the kind of drink that will put a smile on your face. Believe it or not, it's pretty easy to make your own wine and champagne. For wine, all you need is some water, Brewer's yeast, frozen juice, a big jug and a plastic tube (click here for a few easy recipes). But if you really want to get fancy, try this Elderflower Champagne recipe instead.
(By the way, you can get some pretty affordable empty wine bottles on Amazon.)
6.DIY Some Dark Chocolate Beauty Products
Dark chocolate and Valentine's Day go hand in hand whether you're booed up or not. It's loaded with antioxidants; it also lowers your blood pressure, protects your skin from UV rays and has a good amount of fiber, iron, copper, magnesium, and zinc in it as well.
While women in relationships may end up with a box of chocolates, I can one-up them on that.
Make some DIY dark chocolate beauty products from the comfort of your own home. Click here to make your own chocolate chip lip gloss, here for an exfoliating scrub, here for some face masks, here for a souffle body butter and (one of my personal favorites) here for a chocolate milk bath.
7.Invest In A Chef For A Night
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If you'd like nothing more than to enjoy a full course meal at a high-end restaurant but you don't want to sit in the midst of a sea of couples blowing kisses at each other or men proposing to their beloved, skip the dining traffic and eat in.
Whether it's by yourself or with a couple of single friends, hire a chef to come and cook at your home. You can dress up and light some candles or put on comfy clothing and watch your favorite rom-coms while you eat the food that's been especially prepared for you.
8.Get Yourself A Piece Of Jewelry
It seems like there is always a new trend buzzing. Right now, it's single women who are opting to wear what they are calling the anti-engagement ring. It's basically a gemstone ring that's worn on the pinky finger that represents self-love.
If this piques your curiosity but you'd prefer to wear anything but a diamond, Etsy features jewelry in just about any kind of gemstone you can think of! Just to get you started — apatite awakens your sense of clarity, red jasper represents healing and security, calcite releases negativity and grief, labradorite elevates your sense of consciousness and celestite supports the urge to reconcile with a lost love or broken friendship.
9.Sign Up For A Single’s Box
Subscription boxes are currently all the rage. One that I particularly like is offered on Izzy & Liv's site (it's called the Brown Sugar Box). Another that's pretty popular is the Single Swag box. For around $40 a month, you can receive 6-7 different items (like treats, jewelry, and organic products) delivered directly to your front door.
10. Treat Yourself To A Bed and Breakfast
Something that I'm super fond of is a good bed and breakfast. So many of them have such a personalized touch (and great food) that I'd choose them over a lot of standard hotels any day! If you've never been to one before, there's no time like the present to book your first reservation. If you feel a little weird about going alone, don't. Many bed and breakfasts are so accommodating to us singles that they customize discounts so that we can keep a few dollars in our pockets.
Happy Valentine's Day, sis!
Happy Valentine's Day, sis!
Featured Image by Getty Images.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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The Power Of Choosing Herself: Sienna Brown's Path From Event Planning To Beauty Branding
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
Before Sienna Brown, founder of Glosshood, took a leap of faith to leave her corporate career, she knew, in her body, that it was time for a change.
“I was working as an event planner, and I was just so sick of it,” she tells xoNecole. “I decided I didn't want to be there anymore — I didn’t want to live my life like this. My body just felt it. I was getting hives all over, I was so stressed; I would be crying all the time.”
As a means to explore her newfound freedom from a corporate life, Brown began dabbling in various video-based projects, from music and social justice. However, her true passion was to create a beauty brand that aimed to reconnect with her inner child.
“I made a promise to myself — and I wrote this in my resignation letter, actually — that I would always choose myself,” she reflects. “Glosshood is an extension of that: choosing yourself over and over again and getting back to that little version of yourself that prioritized play.”
As a first-generation Jamaican-American, Brown found herself crossed between strict cultural norms towards makeup and her own desire to explore the glamour of coming-of-age traditions. “If you know anything about Jamaican or Caribbean parents, you know they're very strict about makeup and ‘coming of age type things,’” she shares.
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“I made a promise to myself that I would always choose myself. Glosshood is an extension of that: choosing yourself over and over again, and getting back to that little version of yourself that prioritized play.”
For her, lip gloss wasn’t just a product, it was a rite of passage into becoming the woman she’d ultimately be. “Luckily, my parents were pretty open to letting me wear nail polish and stuff like that, but when it came to makeup, my parents, my dad especially, was like, absolutely not.”
Soon, the beauty supply store became Brown’s playground and the foundation for a product that would make her mark on the beauty industry years down the line.
“When I was creating Glosshood, I thought, What's the thing that can always make you feel beautiful?” she says. “Anytime you just want that extra little oomph in your life, you just put on some lip gloss, and you're like, okay, I feel better.”
Going into her 4th year, the Sephora Accelerator Grant recipient and beauty ItGirl is determined to be “the biggest beauty brand in the world,” trusting that everything she envisions will fall into place. “I've never really wondered how because I knew that if God gave me the vision and put it in my mind, I could do it, and he would put everything in place for me.”
And she’s doing just that, one lip gloss at a time.
Sienna Brown on what it means to be an ItGirl:
“Being an ItGirl means finding solutions — and not taking ‘no’ for an answer. I cannot tell you the amount of times people have told me no. And I've been like, what do I do now? But one thing that always keeps me going is thinking about where I started. Being an ItGirl is like a form of constantly affirming yourself because nobody believes in you the way that you're going to believe in you.
"So when people see you coming out, and you know, being proud of what you're putting out into the world, people want to be a part of that, and people want to support you, but you have to give them things to support. That's what being an ItGirl is to me.”
On navigating struggles and challenges in her career journey:
“When I was first starting my company, and even today, I'm a very scrappy person. I didn’t have the money to pay someone right out; it became a thing of capital. And that's something that I find a lot of founders have to overcome very early on. You're doing what you can with what you have and that's my number one advice to people: start where you're at; do what you can with what you have. You can do a lot more than you think, especially if you're willing to teach yourself. Overcome the idea of, ‘I don't have the money to do it,’ — it’s about getting scrappy and really being devoted to learning and teaching yourself.”
On the advice she would you give young women who desire to make their mark:
“I think the number one thing is to be yourself. Who I am with my parents is who I am with my friends. Who I am with my friends is who I am with you right now. I am fully myself. One thing that I will always pride myself on is that I never know everything. I learned so much stuff day in and day out, and while I'm learning, I still don't know everything.
"Be willing to change things. Do not be married to the ideas or the things that come up or pop up along the journey. Remain nimble and remain flexible; in thought, in practice, and in ideation — that's where the magic happens.”
"Remain nimble and remain flexible; in thought, in practice, and in ideation — that's where the magic happens."
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On what excites her about the future of Glosshood:
“I'm excited for it to be the biggest beauty brand in the world. It sounds absolutely insane saying it because it's like, how are you going to do that? But I've never really wondered how because I knew that if God gave me the vision and put it in my mind, I could do it, and He would put everything in place for me. He would align my steps for me.
“It’s about being the most faithful version of myself. Everyone's looking at me like Sienna, you're crazy. And I'm like, well: it's crazy until it's not. I cannot wait to have the entire world experiencing their inner child in real-time through beauty.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image courtesy